Sunday, December 31, 2006
Happy New Year
Happy New Year everybody. Hope it's a safe, happy, healthy one for you all. Let's hope 2007 is blessed and way better than 2006.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Holidays
Well Christmas is over. This was a good Christmas. This time last year seems so distant now. My mom had just had surgery earlier in the month and last Christmas was so subdued. There was no money for gifts and there was a small meal to prepare. Overall pretty dismal, though with a different focus than just "having".
This year everyone was able to afford gifts and put some thought into who was getting what. We had fun with our secrets, hiding things from each other, telling others what we got for the rest of the family. This year, the entire cost of the meal fell on me. I minded a little bit, but not much. I just wanted us to have a good time and I'd sort of figured it would be on me, so I was prepared.
This was a good ending to an OK year, for which I'm grateful. I wonder what the next year will bring? What will be different? What will be unexpected? What will be new? What will be the same?
This year everyone was able to afford gifts and put some thought into who was getting what. We had fun with our secrets, hiding things from each other, telling others what we got for the rest of the family. This year, the entire cost of the meal fell on me. I minded a little bit, but not much. I just wanted us to have a good time and I'd sort of figured it would be on me, so I was prepared.
This was a good ending to an OK year, for which I'm grateful. I wonder what the next year will bring? What will be different? What will be unexpected? What will be new? What will be the same?
Monday, November 27, 2006
What You Need To Know
So there’s a person I know…am getting to know better…something. OK we’ll go with “there’s a person I know” for simplicity’s sake. Anyway. They’ve become very important to me in a relatively short period of time. I’m not one to put any emphasis on time limits, “right time”, “wrong time”, etc. This is jus a point of reference. Where was I? Oh right. Important people.
So yeah, this person is so very important to me. Maybe more than they should be. Or maybe not. I make no apologies – it is what is. I don’t think they realize the importance they have in my life. Sure I’ve alluded to it, but they don’t really know. I don’t think they feel that they’re worthy of it. Or worth it. But they are. They really really are.
This person is going through a very difficult time right now and it will be an uphill battle for them for quite some time. Maybe forever. Uphill battles are always a series of never-ending hills. I guess God doesn’t want some of us to get bored.
I don’t think this person has encountered this level of difficulty before and they are having to let go of self –reliance and rely on others. It’s not coming easy. They are really beating themselves up over the situation. Oh they don’t say it in so many words, but, I can tell, I can feel it. It took them a while to tell me what was going on. And when they did finally tell me, they said they were ashamed to tell me. I tried to reassure them not to be ashamed to tell me. I would not judge them and I was there to support.
They accepted that outwardly, but I think inwardly it is a struggle. I wish there was some way to really reassure them. I hold no judgment against them. I can’t understand what they are going through, not having been through it myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I am offering then m the only thing I can give. Myself. I am offering my time, my listening ear, my companionship, my heart. All of these are immaterial things that are dearest to me. Things I do not give easily. Things I do not give to everyone. Only to those who are deserving. And this person’s most deserving by far. I only wish they could see that.
I only wish they could see in themselves what I see. I see a special person. Someone with a lot of love to give and the biggest heart of anyone I know. A lot of thoughts to speak. A lot of wisdom to share. I want them to see that no, they are not a failure. People hiccup through life. Some hiccups are bigger than others. They are our experiences and what makes up our lives. There are no failures.
Sometimes I can feel this person pushing me away. It hurts, it makes me angry and frustrated, but I know why they do this. The shame. Not wanting to hurt me by starting something they feel they are not in the position to start. On some level believing they are not worthy and I shouldn’t be bothered. Vulnerability and uncertainty in themselves, both of which are very new emotions for them. And general turmoil. I don’t say anything. I just take this person as they come. I relish their attention when they can give it and I enjoy memories of conversations, when they can’t. They have enough going on without me pushing them and pulling them.
But at the same time, I make myself known, I make my presence felt. And I hope that I am sending the message that though they may try to get rid of me, they can’t. I won’t go. They don’t seem tot understand that this is my choice. They are my choice. Free will. No one takes away my free will. This. Is. My. Choice. Period. I know what I can handle and can’t handle. I know what I‘ve handled in the past. I can and will stick with them through this and beyond. They hope that I can and will, but they are half-expecting me to do disappear. That’s not how I work. That’s not me. I am stronger than that and I am strong for the both of us. Don’t underestimate me.
I know they are used to being the alpha. I understand that. But sometimes, life throws you for a loop and you can’t always be the alpha. Uncomfortable, yes. But get used to it, get over it, move on. There is a time, place, and reason for everything.
Every day I pray for this person. I pray for their strength, their well-being, their success, and their coping. I pray that I can be what they need when they need it. I pray that I don’t say or do something wrong to make them feel worse about themselves during this time. And perhaps selfishly, I pray for us. NO there isn’t an us yet, but there should be. I’m not some crazy stalker, but we’ve had conversations. We know where this would be right now if things were different. We know where we want things to head. We know what it is. For whatever reason, it is this time and this place. And it is unlike anything either of us has ever experienced. It is the hardest thing, but the most right. It is scary. It is exhilarating. It is uncertainty at its best. And it is what is meant to be, what has been destined, what will succeed.
This person will most likely never read this (I don’t think they know about this blog), and perhaps they never should. Or maybe not right now. But I’m a strong believer in putting it out there. It is out there in the universe, speaking its volumes, speaking loudly and there for its truth. It is spoken into existence. And that is all that I can do. It is. I acknowledge. I accept.
Some way, some form; this will reach the ears, eyes and heart of someone who needs these words. Maybe it will be them; maybe it will be someone else, too. Words have power. People have power. Those two together are all the power one needs.
So why did I write this? These are all things floating in my head. Things I’ve been mulling over or several weeks now. I’m not in a position to say them to the person I think needs to hear them or see them, but it’s out now. And in print. All I can do, right? I can care, I can feel, I can put that all out there. And I can love.
So yeah, this person is so very important to me. Maybe more than they should be. Or maybe not. I make no apologies – it is what is. I don’t think they realize the importance they have in my life. Sure I’ve alluded to it, but they don’t really know. I don’t think they feel that they’re worthy of it. Or worth it. But they are. They really really are.
This person is going through a very difficult time right now and it will be an uphill battle for them for quite some time. Maybe forever. Uphill battles are always a series of never-ending hills. I guess God doesn’t want some of us to get bored.
I don’t think this person has encountered this level of difficulty before and they are having to let go of self –reliance and rely on others. It’s not coming easy. They are really beating themselves up over the situation. Oh they don’t say it in so many words, but, I can tell, I can feel it. It took them a while to tell me what was going on. And when they did finally tell me, they said they were ashamed to tell me. I tried to reassure them not to be ashamed to tell me. I would not judge them and I was there to support.
They accepted that outwardly, but I think inwardly it is a struggle. I wish there was some way to really reassure them. I hold no judgment against them. I can’t understand what they are going through, not having been through it myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I am offering then m the only thing I can give. Myself. I am offering my time, my listening ear, my companionship, my heart. All of these are immaterial things that are dearest to me. Things I do not give easily. Things I do not give to everyone. Only to those who are deserving. And this person’s most deserving by far. I only wish they could see that.
I only wish they could see in themselves what I see. I see a special person. Someone with a lot of love to give and the biggest heart of anyone I know. A lot of thoughts to speak. A lot of wisdom to share. I want them to see that no, they are not a failure. People hiccup through life. Some hiccups are bigger than others. They are our experiences and what makes up our lives. There are no failures.
Sometimes I can feel this person pushing me away. It hurts, it makes me angry and frustrated, but I know why they do this. The shame. Not wanting to hurt me by starting something they feel they are not in the position to start. On some level believing they are not worthy and I shouldn’t be bothered. Vulnerability and uncertainty in themselves, both of which are very new emotions for them. And general turmoil. I don’t say anything. I just take this person as they come. I relish their attention when they can give it and I enjoy memories of conversations, when they can’t. They have enough going on without me pushing them and pulling them.
But at the same time, I make myself known, I make my presence felt. And I hope that I am sending the message that though they may try to get rid of me, they can’t. I won’t go. They don’t seem tot understand that this is my choice. They are my choice. Free will. No one takes away my free will. This. Is. My. Choice. Period. I know what I can handle and can’t handle. I know what I‘ve handled in the past. I can and will stick with them through this and beyond. They hope that I can and will, but they are half-expecting me to do disappear. That’s not how I work. That’s not me. I am stronger than that and I am strong for the both of us. Don’t underestimate me.
I know they are used to being the alpha. I understand that. But sometimes, life throws you for a loop and you can’t always be the alpha. Uncomfortable, yes. But get used to it, get over it, move on. There is a time, place, and reason for everything.
Every day I pray for this person. I pray for their strength, their well-being, their success, and their coping. I pray that I can be what they need when they need it. I pray that I don’t say or do something wrong to make them feel worse about themselves during this time. And perhaps selfishly, I pray for us. NO there isn’t an us yet, but there should be. I’m not some crazy stalker, but we’ve had conversations. We know where this would be right now if things were different. We know where we want things to head. We know what it is. For whatever reason, it is this time and this place. And it is unlike anything either of us has ever experienced. It is the hardest thing, but the most right. It is scary. It is exhilarating. It is uncertainty at its best. And it is what is meant to be, what has been destined, what will succeed.
This person will most likely never read this (I don’t think they know about this blog), and perhaps they never should. Or maybe not right now. But I’m a strong believer in putting it out there. It is out there in the universe, speaking its volumes, speaking loudly and there for its truth. It is spoken into existence. And that is all that I can do. It is. I acknowledge. I accept.
Some way, some form; this will reach the ears, eyes and heart of someone who needs these words. Maybe it will be them; maybe it will be someone else, too. Words have power. People have power. Those two together are all the power one needs.
So why did I write this? These are all things floating in my head. Things I’ve been mulling over or several weeks now. I’m not in a position to say them to the person I think needs to hear them or see them, but it’s out now. And in print. All I can do, right? I can care, I can feel, I can put that all out there. And I can love.
Monday, September 25, 2006
No I'm Not Jumping Off A Bridge - I'm Just Writing
Ah it’s Monday again.
This Monday is better than last Monday. I was barely holding it together then. I was seriously on the verge of losing it. I woke up and then the darkness set in. I don’t know if it was because it was Monday or because mornings stress me or what. But I almost stayed home.
I couldn’t face the thought of going outside in the dark. That whole masked gunman thing messes with my head all the time, and even more when it gets dark in the mornings. I hate that. But I gotta live with it. I’ve done it for two years now, so whatever. I did go outside and make it to work safely, but for the rest of the day I was super on edge. I
’m on edge a lot because of how I feel when I go outside. Then I’m on edge in my apartment because I’m always like who’s gonna break in (which hasn’t happened and it better not) or who’s gonna have a fire (which has happened). I spend much of my time being unsettled by something and it all adds up occasionally.
Anyway as I said, I was super on edge. Then I was just so sad that day and the rest of the week. Sad about what I don’t know. But I get like that sometimes.
When it’s all too much and the little stresses add up to big stresses and I wish things were different and recognize what I wish, it all just comes crashing down. Then I have to climb out of the pit and go back to holding things back until the next crash.
I’m mostly better today, as I always am. The darkness is still there lurking in the shadows as it does. But as long as I can keep it at bay, I’m good. This is why I like to take vacations twice a year and go to my happy place (Vegas, of course). Just for a little while I can forget.
That is one place I am truly happy, truly my (crazy) self, and truly light. I’m not held down by the job, my own wants, or any of the stuff that lives in the darkness. So for at least two weeks out of the year I am truly free.
It’s a good thing I write or I’d go truly crazy. My thoughts aren’t something I bring up in daily conversation ever. Imagine how that would go. That’s an amusing thought. People would think I needed to be committed. And I’m not sure I would disagree.
Which leads me to think about what people are really like on the inside. Speaking for myself, what people see on the outside is not who I am. It is either who (grammar check says “whom”, but that doesn’t sound right) I purposely portray by controlling what people see and/or it is what people prefer to see me as either through ignorance or blindness. Which it is or how much of both, I haven’t figured out yet.
In part, I control what I portray for some obvious and not so obvious reasons. For instance, at work I portray the quiet, conservative, well-mannered, submissive, seemingly hard-working me. In truth yes I’m quiet but not that quiet, I am conservative neither in dress nor views, well-mannered only when I need or want to be and in most cases I’m thinking something else, submissive not so much and hard-working hardly since I’m so not motivated and my work is not even an eighth as challenging as it should be.
Around most friends I flit in and out not really making an impression. That’s mostly because though I like my friends, I have very little in common with them outside of superficial things. I have very little in common with most people, to be honest. I find people to be alternately boring, curious, or stupid. I’ve never felt as though I’ve fit in among any particular group for various reasons. And since humans are a group, count that one, too.
But back to the topic – the various facets of who we are. I am, I think, more myself when I’m away than at other times. It is far easier to be me when I am around people who don’t know who I am. There are no expectations. They won’t know if something doesn’t fit with how I normally am or how they think I normally am. I wish there was some easy way to just switch to who I have become. But there’s not. So I just have to kind of work the new me in and slowly allow those that know me to see these new things. Otherwise known as “growth” or “maturity”. Or at least that’s what the textbooks call it.
There are several incarnations of me. The quiet introspective (not a surprise). The angry wannabe rebel. The thoughtful intellectual. The writer and music lover. Yep. All me. But who is more me? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. And how do I work all of that into the forefront? Or do I? I think that’s what life is really about. Forget finding yourself. It’s being yourself.
This Monday is better than last Monday. I was barely holding it together then. I was seriously on the verge of losing it. I woke up and then the darkness set in. I don’t know if it was because it was Monday or because mornings stress me or what. But I almost stayed home.
I couldn’t face the thought of going outside in the dark. That whole masked gunman thing messes with my head all the time, and even more when it gets dark in the mornings. I hate that. But I gotta live with it. I’ve done it for two years now, so whatever. I did go outside and make it to work safely, but for the rest of the day I was super on edge. I
’m on edge a lot because of how I feel when I go outside. Then I’m on edge in my apartment because I’m always like who’s gonna break in (which hasn’t happened and it better not) or who’s gonna have a fire (which has happened). I spend much of my time being unsettled by something and it all adds up occasionally.
Anyway as I said, I was super on edge. Then I was just so sad that day and the rest of the week. Sad about what I don’t know. But I get like that sometimes.
When it’s all too much and the little stresses add up to big stresses and I wish things were different and recognize what I wish, it all just comes crashing down. Then I have to climb out of the pit and go back to holding things back until the next crash.
I’m mostly better today, as I always am. The darkness is still there lurking in the shadows as it does. But as long as I can keep it at bay, I’m good. This is why I like to take vacations twice a year and go to my happy place (Vegas, of course). Just for a little while I can forget.
That is one place I am truly happy, truly my (crazy) self, and truly light. I’m not held down by the job, my own wants, or any of the stuff that lives in the darkness. So for at least two weeks out of the year I am truly free.
It’s a good thing I write or I’d go truly crazy. My thoughts aren’t something I bring up in daily conversation ever. Imagine how that would go. That’s an amusing thought. People would think I needed to be committed. And I’m not sure I would disagree.
Which leads me to think about what people are really like on the inside. Speaking for myself, what people see on the outside is not who I am. It is either who (grammar check says “whom”, but that doesn’t sound right) I purposely portray by controlling what people see and/or it is what people prefer to see me as either through ignorance or blindness. Which it is or how much of both, I haven’t figured out yet.
In part, I control what I portray for some obvious and not so obvious reasons. For instance, at work I portray the quiet, conservative, well-mannered, submissive, seemingly hard-working me. In truth yes I’m quiet but not that quiet, I am conservative neither in dress nor views, well-mannered only when I need or want to be and in most cases I’m thinking something else, submissive not so much and hard-working hardly since I’m so not motivated and my work is not even an eighth as challenging as it should be.
Around most friends I flit in and out not really making an impression. That’s mostly because though I like my friends, I have very little in common with them outside of superficial things. I have very little in common with most people, to be honest. I find people to be alternately boring, curious, or stupid. I’ve never felt as though I’ve fit in among any particular group for various reasons. And since humans are a group, count that one, too.
But back to the topic – the various facets of who we are. I am, I think, more myself when I’m away than at other times. It is far easier to be me when I am around people who don’t know who I am. There are no expectations. They won’t know if something doesn’t fit with how I normally am or how they think I normally am. I wish there was some easy way to just switch to who I have become. But there’s not. So I just have to kind of work the new me in and slowly allow those that know me to see these new things. Otherwise known as “growth” or “maturity”. Or at least that’s what the textbooks call it.
There are several incarnations of me. The quiet introspective (not a surprise). The angry wannabe rebel. The thoughtful intellectual. The writer and music lover. Yep. All me. But who is more me? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. And how do I work all of that into the forefront? Or do I? I think that’s what life is really about. Forget finding yourself. It’s being yourself.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Anger
It seems like I spend a great deal of my life being angry.
Looking at me, talking to me, knowing me, you wouldn't think I'm an angry person. I'm not in that sense of the word, I suppose. I'm not a punch the walls, kick an animal, alienate everyone I know type of angry person. Mine goes much deeper than that. And I can't say that I'm angry about anything specific. More like angry at circumstances. Angry at myself. Angry at the air I breathe. I have the type of anger that is indescribable. And it is for that reason that I cannot let it escape. I don't even think I know how to let it escape. I have no outlet. Though that's not for trying. It's just that it goes so deep, winds through every fiber of who I am, I think I would crumble into nothingness without it.
Honestly I don't think being this angry is all that bad. It's not all-consuming ruining my life. Not that I can see, anyway. Perhaps I'll look back twenty years from now and go "Wow, I really should've seen that coming." But for now I'm good. I think it's my driving force. Or would be my driving force if I got off my ass. But that's another blog.
So what am I angry about? What am I not angry about is more like it. Oh I have a lot of issues. I know this. It would make for interesting conversations if I had people to talk to myself about. People other than myself, I mean. At least I entertain myself with my tales.
I get angry about how I was treated in school. First grade through twelfth grade were not my best years. First through sixth grades were particularly hellacious. I'm angry at the people who couldn't accept me for who I was. I'm angry that I couldn't accept myself for who I was and therefore couldn't adequately defend myself to those people. I'm angry that all that still follows me to this day.
What else?
I'm angry at the way I grew up. Not where I lived or my parents or anything (though some of that was weird - another blog, again). But I grew up shackled to religion. Not even religion, but a church. I don't even know where to begin with that. Again - another blog. That's a very large, tangled can of worms. That's all I'm gonna say about that. For now.
I'm angry that my life isn't what I thought it would be, what I want it to be, what it should be. And I'm angry that I have no earthly idea what any of that means or what I want it to mean. No, I'm not confused. Just...in limbo. Yeah that's a good word. Neither here nor there. And not sure where here or there actually are or what they mean.
As I said before, I try to have outlets. Writing - whether through poetry or through blogging or through good old fashioned pen and paper journaling. Music - I love any and all music. It depends on my mood what I listen to and the music either expresses my feelings or at least soothes them. Whatever they may be. Books - I have been in love with books and reading since I can remember. Words have power. They can transport you to other places and make you forget yourself just for that moment. Reading is my meditation. Vegas - I know, I know. How does that work? Vegas is the first place I have been where I was completely transformed into me. I didn't expect it. At all. I turned into the me I know myself to be and it was ok. I found out that I liked that me that no one else sees.
And that's where I am now. Slowly transforming into the real me. Screw what everyone else may think or expect me to be or do. I'm doing me. Which is why I'm not too concerned about the anger. Sometimes transformation is not particularly neat or comfortable. And with that comes anger as I discover things, think about things, dwell on things too long hidden. It's refreshing. It's exciting. It's angry. And it's wonderful.
Looking at me, talking to me, knowing me, you wouldn't think I'm an angry person. I'm not in that sense of the word, I suppose. I'm not a punch the walls, kick an animal, alienate everyone I know type of angry person. Mine goes much deeper than that. And I can't say that I'm angry about anything specific. More like angry at circumstances. Angry at myself. Angry at the air I breathe. I have the type of anger that is indescribable. And it is for that reason that I cannot let it escape. I don't even think I know how to let it escape. I have no outlet. Though that's not for trying. It's just that it goes so deep, winds through every fiber of who I am, I think I would crumble into nothingness without it.
Honestly I don't think being this angry is all that bad. It's not all-consuming ruining my life. Not that I can see, anyway. Perhaps I'll look back twenty years from now and go "Wow, I really should've seen that coming." But for now I'm good. I think it's my driving force. Or would be my driving force if I got off my ass. But that's another blog.
So what am I angry about? What am I not angry about is more like it. Oh I have a lot of issues. I know this. It would make for interesting conversations if I had people to talk to myself about. People other than myself, I mean. At least I entertain myself with my tales.
I get angry about how I was treated in school. First grade through twelfth grade were not my best years. First through sixth grades were particularly hellacious. I'm angry at the people who couldn't accept me for who I was. I'm angry that I couldn't accept myself for who I was and therefore couldn't adequately defend myself to those people. I'm angry that all that still follows me to this day.
What else?
I'm angry at the way I grew up. Not where I lived or my parents or anything (though some of that was weird - another blog, again). But I grew up shackled to religion. Not even religion, but a church. I don't even know where to begin with that. Again - another blog. That's a very large, tangled can of worms. That's all I'm gonna say about that. For now.
I'm angry that my life isn't what I thought it would be, what I want it to be, what it should be. And I'm angry that I have no earthly idea what any of that means or what I want it to mean. No, I'm not confused. Just...in limbo. Yeah that's a good word. Neither here nor there. And not sure where here or there actually are or what they mean.
As I said before, I try to have outlets. Writing - whether through poetry or through blogging or through good old fashioned pen and paper journaling. Music - I love any and all music. It depends on my mood what I listen to and the music either expresses my feelings or at least soothes them. Whatever they may be. Books - I have been in love with books and reading since I can remember. Words have power. They can transport you to other places and make you forget yourself just for that moment. Reading is my meditation. Vegas - I know, I know. How does that work? Vegas is the first place I have been where I was completely transformed into me. I didn't expect it. At all. I turned into the me I know myself to be and it was ok. I found out that I liked that me that no one else sees.
And that's where I am now. Slowly transforming into the real me. Screw what everyone else may think or expect me to be or do. I'm doing me. Which is why I'm not too concerned about the anger. Sometimes transformation is not particularly neat or comfortable. And with that comes anger as I discover things, think about things, dwell on things too long hidden. It's refreshing. It's exciting. It's angry. And it's wonderful.
Friday, April 28, 2006
My Birthday
Well, my birthday is tomorrow. I'll be 29. I don't know whether to be depressed or not. Birthdays always depress me, but this one is different. It's my last year in my 20's. The end of an era, so to speak. Definitely the end of a decade. Next year I'll be 30. It's a little sad. I'm a little sad. OK, a lot sad. But that can't be helped.
As I look back on my 20's I can't really say whether I've changed a lot as a person or not. It's hard to be objective when you're talking about yourself. Sure I'm grateful I'm alive. I could be dead. I have a roof over my head. I have an OK paying job. I have an education.
But I'll be the first one to admit my life is not what I want it to be. I'm not who I want to be. I'm not where I want to be. And I don't know how to get to who or where I want to be. Oh, I know some things I need to do to change what I want to change, but I have no clear goal in mind. I have no direct plan. I just know that I want or need to be different. Inside I am a very different person than who I portray on the outside. I just need to figure out how to bring the inner person out. I need to learn to say screw everything and everybody and just be me. I shouldn't have to be the one to be nice and be who I'm expected to be. It's everyone else's job to adjust to who I am. That sounds mean, I guess, but oh well. It is what it is.
As I look back over the past decade, good things have happened, bad things have happened, and I've started to sit back and look at myself and discover some things that I wasn't aware of. I think I like who I could be - enough to realize that who I could be is who I should be. I should be me. Me makes me happy. And the more I fight that the unhappier I will be.
Just ten years ago I was a second semester sophomore in college. I hadn't really come into myself yet. Or at least that version of myself. The me then was a student. Struggling through Honors Organic Chemistry and discovering, surprisingly, that I liked it and I could do it and I had been selling myself short because I'd always assumed I couldn't do chemistry. Lesson learned - you never know unless you try - and if you really try, you may do something unexpected. Later that year I met the man who would be my first "adult" boyfriend. That was the year of my very first date (I know - late bloomer...very).
The next year? More of the same. And I changed physically for the first time - actually doing something I wanted to do - cut my hair into an actual style and switched out my glasses for contacts. That was my so-called "sexy" year. What a laugh that was. The following year was just TIRING. My senior year. Lots of different experiences - I mostly remember that year with a fondness. But things happened so fast. The boyfriend left (he felt "crowded") unexpectedly and that threw me for a loop. Fortunatley, I had to concentrate on school. I turned 21. Three weeks after that, I graduated. Three weeks after that, I moved across the state and got my own apartment and started this job (where I'd been interning before).
And that's pretty much how it has been since then. I fell into the "adult" rut. Living, eating, working. Recovering from my break-up. And got into another relationship. This time I was the adult, the teacher. And then that ended. Man mistakes here and there, but nothing serious. The old boyfriend came back, but I keep him at arm's length. He's there, but only because I have nothing better to do. And work continues. I
had some scary moments in the last couple of years, my first mugging (joy) and my first experience with my apartment building catching on fire (note to self: renters insurance is your friend). I also survived a tornado.
Something great also happened in the last couple of years. Call it quarter-life crisis, if you must, but I finally started blossoming. I discovered that I like being single. I like being by myself. I'm not conservative. I'm not normal. I never have been. But I figured out that that's OK. And I figured out that I like that in myself. I think I'm interesting, even if no one else does. And that's OK too.
And I discovered a love for Vegas. So much so, that I know that's where I want to be. I've been other places before. And they were nice. But they were just that - nice places. This place is different. Something happened to me there and continues to happen. And it's started a ball rolling that I don't want to stop and that I have to do everything in my power to keep rolling. I'm stronger than I think and I'm as strong as I portray but I'm also weaker. Much, much weaker. But that makes me....me. And in the end, that's the only way I can be.
I might not always like where I am, who I am, what I am - but it's all leading somewhere. It's all helping me grow. And it's all helping me learn. All I can do is hang on and go along for the ride. And I plan to do so. Screaming and laughing and fighting the whole way.
And so I've decided - Happy 29th Birthday to me - 2006 is going to be my year. It has to be - it has no choice - this is my life, and it's up to me to welcome it and make it what it is.
As I look back on my 20's I can't really say whether I've changed a lot as a person or not. It's hard to be objective when you're talking about yourself. Sure I'm grateful I'm alive. I could be dead. I have a roof over my head. I have an OK paying job. I have an education.
But I'll be the first one to admit my life is not what I want it to be. I'm not who I want to be. I'm not where I want to be. And I don't know how to get to who or where I want to be. Oh, I know some things I need to do to change what I want to change, but I have no clear goal in mind. I have no direct plan. I just know that I want or need to be different. Inside I am a very different person than who I portray on the outside. I just need to figure out how to bring the inner person out. I need to learn to say screw everything and everybody and just be me. I shouldn't have to be the one to be nice and be who I'm expected to be. It's everyone else's job to adjust to who I am. That sounds mean, I guess, but oh well. It is what it is.
As I look back over the past decade, good things have happened, bad things have happened, and I've started to sit back and look at myself and discover some things that I wasn't aware of. I think I like who I could be - enough to realize that who I could be is who I should be. I should be me. Me makes me happy. And the more I fight that the unhappier I will be.
Just ten years ago I was a second semester sophomore in college. I hadn't really come into myself yet. Or at least that version of myself. The me then was a student. Struggling through Honors Organic Chemistry and discovering, surprisingly, that I liked it and I could do it and I had been selling myself short because I'd always assumed I couldn't do chemistry. Lesson learned - you never know unless you try - and if you really try, you may do something unexpected. Later that year I met the man who would be my first "adult" boyfriend. That was the year of my very first date (I know - late bloomer...very).
The next year? More of the same. And I changed physically for the first time - actually doing something I wanted to do - cut my hair into an actual style and switched out my glasses for contacts. That was my so-called "sexy" year. What a laugh that was. The following year was just TIRING. My senior year. Lots of different experiences - I mostly remember that year with a fondness. But things happened so fast. The boyfriend left (he felt "crowded") unexpectedly and that threw me for a loop. Fortunatley, I had to concentrate on school. I turned 21. Three weeks after that, I graduated. Three weeks after that, I moved across the state and got my own apartment and started this job (where I'd been interning before).
And that's pretty much how it has been since then. I fell into the "adult" rut. Living, eating, working. Recovering from my break-up. And got into another relationship. This time I was the adult, the teacher. And then that ended. Man mistakes here and there, but nothing serious. The old boyfriend came back, but I keep him at arm's length. He's there, but only because I have nothing better to do. And work continues. I
had some scary moments in the last couple of years, my first mugging (joy) and my first experience with my apartment building catching on fire (note to self: renters insurance is your friend). I also survived a tornado.
Something great also happened in the last couple of years. Call it quarter-life crisis, if you must, but I finally started blossoming. I discovered that I like being single. I like being by myself. I'm not conservative. I'm not normal. I never have been. But I figured out that that's OK. And I figured out that I like that in myself. I think I'm interesting, even if no one else does. And that's OK too.
And I discovered a love for Vegas. So much so, that I know that's where I want to be. I've been other places before. And they were nice. But they were just that - nice places. This place is different. Something happened to me there and continues to happen. And it's started a ball rolling that I don't want to stop and that I have to do everything in my power to keep rolling. I'm stronger than I think and I'm as strong as I portray but I'm also weaker. Much, much weaker. But that makes me....me. And in the end, that's the only way I can be.
I might not always like where I am, who I am, what I am - but it's all leading somewhere. It's all helping me grow. And it's all helping me learn. All I can do is hang on and go along for the ride. And I plan to do so. Screaming and laughing and fighting the whole way.
And so I've decided - Happy 29th Birthday to me - 2006 is going to be my year. It has to be - it has no choice - this is my life, and it's up to me to welcome it and make it what it is.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Vegas TR!
MGM Feb 15-20, 2006
Pre-trip Feb 14
I suppose I should’ve known actually getting to and from Vegas would be an issue judging by how things started on February 14. Maybe it was a full moon or my chakras weren’t aligned or something. My plan was to leave on Amtrak from DC area to Philly after work on the 14th, as my sisters live in Philly and I always just meet up with them there and we fly out the next day.
I called a cab from my apartment at 5:45 PM. My train was to leave at 7:21 and the station is only 15 minutes away. By 6:10, no one had shown up.
I called again – “OK we’ll send someone.” “Uh…no you were supposed to send someone BEFORE.” “Oh, right, yeah they’re on their way…10 or 15 minutes.” Uh huh. Right.
Since I’m a nice person, I waited until 6:30 to call them back. “Yeah hi remember me? Person with suitcase? Needing a cab?” “Your cab came already – there was no one there.” “Pardon me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your company policy to CALL when the cab arrives?” “Yes – it says here that’s what the policy is.” “Right, so, why didn’t I get a call?” “Well, it says here the driver should have called.” “Yes he should have. So why didn’t he?” “Do you want another cab?” “Well I’m still here, aren’t I? What do you think? And could ya hurry it? You people are making me late.”
So this time I go outside. In the cold. In the dark. With a big azz suitcase. Wishing they would drive by me so I can have a choice conversation with them. 6:50. No cab. “Yeah. Hi. Cab?” “Oh.” “Oh? Where’s my cab?” “Well it says here they made a drop off at 6:43 and left at 6:46. Someone must have taken your cab.” “AUGHHHHH!” “We’ll send out another cab.” “Really. I’ll believe that when I see it.”
Apparently the fourth time’s the charm as this cab actually showed up. And that’s all it did. I understand this is 2006 and women are empowered and all, but would it KILL the driver to get out and HELP me with my suitcase? All he did was pop the trunk and grunt and point.
At any rate, I finally got to the train station where I had to wait for an hour and a half for the next (and final) train to Philly. Seeing as though I’d missed the 7:21 by 10 minutes. I love the cabs here – they’re all independently owned by people who make you wonder if they have a valid license (my guess is “NO”).
Feb 15
We have a fourth person going with us this trip. A Vegas virgin. Which amuses us immensely as we like to corru…ah…teach new people. Being smart, we’d arranged an airport shuttle to take us to the airport. We were due out at 7:45 AM on a US Air flight, so of course the man called at 3:00 to say he’d be there in a few. Uh no you won’t. Especially since you’re not due here until 5:15. Just thought you’d like to know. He apparently reads his instructions – ah yes yes 5:15. Uh huh right thanks. I guess being a driver for a shuttle does not entail actually needing to know how to get around the city. Since he called my sister and she was on the phone with him for 20 minutes directing him to their apartment. He finally got there more or less on time. We make the fun trek with two bags a piece down the stairs (3rd floor walkup) to the front (two sets of stairs). Keep in mind; this part of the East Coast had just had a foot of snow, which makes for great fun at 5 in the morning in the dark. After my sister fell on a solid sheet of black ice, got stared at by the man who eventually decided to help her, we were on our merry way…. after telling him how to get to the next pick up spot. We made a special note to not ever use that transport service again.
We finally got to the airport, did curbside check-in, made it through security in 15 minutes or so, got to the gate, didn’t have to wait long, and we were on our way. I mean, until we apparently got stuck behind a Southwest plane and had to decrease our speed. So said the pilot. I don’t think he was too fond of Southwest. Anyway we finally get to Vegas. Late. Around 10:55 Pacific Time. But only a half an hour, which is better than the hour last trip. Two of us go to check in at the MGM airport desk and the other two go to find the baggage and the limo driver (whoo-hoo Presidential!). We got checked in (rooms not ready, though), met up with everyone else, and we were on our merry way to MGM in the limo w/the Vegas virgin in tow. I was just happy to be back in my happy place again. Sure it had only been 5 months, but dammit those 5 months were LONG.
Since we had eleventy-seven (heavy) bags and a now useless collection of winter coats, we let the bellhop take our stuff and store it for us, got our claim ticket (oh so that’s how that works), and went off to Rainforest Café to eat. We must eat there once a trip (no I don’t know why – we just do). The line took forever to get through, we were ready to gnaw an arm off (no time to eat before the flight, and I made a mistake of buying food from the plane a few trips ago – mmmm foil flavored biscuit), but bacon cheeseburgers make all right in the world. Or bacon cheeseburgers in Vegas, at least.
The rest of the day consisted of going to the castle to pick up Thunder From Down Under tickets (yes I mention them in every TR and yes we go multiple times every trip – sue me) and signing our Vegas virgin friend up for the MGM and The One Club players club cards. If I remember correctly, we may have paid Luxor and Mandalay a visit that day, too. Since we were already over there. And we were in VEGAS baby! Whoo! We finally got to our rooms, had our bags delivered, and then were dead to the world until 7 or so. Naps – the East Coaster’s secret weapon. Heh.
We eventually got ourselves together and got back to the Castle in time for the 10:30 Thunder show (which I’ll skip details of for the sake of the men on the board – see, aren’t I sweet?). But I will mention that my sister Ms. Butterfingers did manage to fling her strawberry daiquiri on the Vegas virgin’s white shirt at the show. This was only to be the first of three drink mishaps. I’m not sitting near her anymore. By the time the show ended at midnight, we’d been up pretty much 24 hours. But we weren’t tired and we were determined not to go to bed like a bunch of old women. Like the last three trips. * hangs head in shame *
In the last three trips, we’d never been off Strip. So we decided to pay a visit to Palms. It was rather…dead, actually. I suppose that was due to the fact it was the middle of the week in winter. Eh oh well. Least we could say we’d been there. We played a little, lost a little, got the Vegas virgin hooked on WOF, remembered we hadn’t eaten since 11-ish and went to eat at 24/7. Or whatever that was. Something. As you’ll see in the pictures I’ll be posting (after my sister finishes the uploads), sometimes fish and chips can be…obscene.
Feb 16-20
Because things get hazy and run together, I’ll just lump everything else together here. The next day I was awake by 6 freakin’ 45. No I don’t know why. My sister and I amused ourselves by texting back and forth between our rooms. The Vegas virgin was also awake reading “Angels and Demons” (apt, no?). My other sister was…asleep. Or would have been if I didn’t keep whispering annoying things to her. Heh. I think that was the day we decided on going off-Strip again – this time to Rio for lunch (by the time we finally got going). 11 stations are perfect for greedy people like me. Of course I saved most of my room for dessert. Sugar is heaven. And heaven is Vegas. So does that mean sugar is Vegas? Hmm.
Anyway, we cabbed over to TI from Rio and went to the Tix4Tonight booth at Fashion Show Mall to get tickets for the Star Trek Experience. Yes we’re all big nerds. But the Vegas virgin hadn’t been yet, so who were we to say no? While we were at that end of the Strip, we decided to cross over to Wynn, since we’d somehow not made it there on the previous trip. Well I do see what all the excitement’s about. Gorgeous place. Didn’t go in any of the stores, as none of us can afford to buy the clothes we’d need just to go in. Somehow four black chicks in sneakers and jeans, no matter how nice, just didn’t feel right. Oooh Manolo! But moving on, yes a beautiful place and somewhere I’d stay just once (of course I said “just once” about Vegas, too, so….). We signed up for the Red Card, and yes they’re still running the 50 points for a buffet deal. Which we didn’t take advantage of because we only played a little bit that day (not sure how I feel about the casino, yet).
After gawking at Wynn, we cabbed over to the LV Hilton to do the Star Trek Experience. On the way, we signed up for the Resorts card (Why not? Didn’t have that one yet, either.). We did the Borg whatsit first followed by the Klingon Encounter (gotta love the half price ticket – it gets you admission to both). Afterwards, we headed over to Quark’s for the express purpose of getting the Warpcore Breach again. The waiter told us there was also a new one out, the Borg Sphere. Which comes in a fishbowl as well, but is a noxious green. You’ll see from the pictures – when I post them. He somehow talked us into getting two – one for each pair of people. Why we listened to him, I’ll never know. Let’s just say that by the end of that experience, we’d been picked on by a Klingon, discovered that there was apparently more alcohol in that drink than one would think, and been convinced to take our ice cream toppings back with us to our rooms (hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time). We took Monorail back (Vegas virgin needed to experience these things, we felt) to MGM, stumbled back to the 15th floor and took the ever-present nap.
That night we headed to Riviera to go to the American Storm show and meet up w/some people we know who live in Vegas. That’s also where my sister knocked over her second drink of the trip. This time she flung a Jack and Coke that, thankfully ended up on no one. Unfortunately the showroom Storm performs in turns into Syn City after the show. Oh. My. GOD. I’ll never get that hour and a half of my life after the show back. We were so depressed after seeing that
* ahem * club we just headed back to MGM, past Tabu (oh look there are all the people), and went to bed.
The following day we contemplated Aladdin or Paris for breakfast but laziness availed and we went to House of Blues, instead. I finally got to try stuffed French toast. My stomach is STILL happy. That might actually inspire me to actually make breakfast once in a while. The waitress gave us some tickets to something they have on Friday nights. We didn’t make it there, but free is free. I believe we spent time in Luxor and Mandalay Place people watching. And still didn’t make it to damn Burger Bar. Oh well. There’s always next time.
That night was again a Thunder night (yes again – told you, multiple times). Then we decided to try out Peppermill (yes, I know, FINALLY). That décor would be tacky anywhere else, but I loved the atmosphere and the food.
From there we went over to Riviera to get a cab. Which drove past us and picked up some other people. Bastards. So we went through Riviera, which for some reason, was filled with some of the creepiest losers I’ve ever come across. We got out of there quickly and decided that was perhaps not the place to be at that time of night. Still no cab, so we went over to Stardust. Which we’d meant to check out, anyway, before it’s gone. That was pretty full, it took a year to find the front, and we got out there in time to get the one lone cab sitting there. Which we hailed over ourselves since there was no door person.
The following day, the Vegas virgin was tired and wanted to stay in. We all slept in and then my sisters and myself decided to cab over to Bellagio to look at the Conservatory. Yes we missed the Conservatory the other trips, too. And what? I have to say, that was really quite beautiful to see. It was decorated for the Chinese New Year with the Year of the Dog. Although I wasn’t too keen on the animatronic dog – too much like that creepy Teddy Ruxpin thing – only GIANT. As you’ll see in the pictures (eventually) we liked it very much and got pictures from all angles. After B, we paid a visit to Bally’s since one sister had never been there (this was her second trip). We played a little there then made the mistake of eating at the café there. Won’t be doing that again. The food was passable, but really not worth the time of stopping. From there we headed straight through to Paris and wandered around a bit. We always like looking at the lobby of Paris (yes we notice odd things). After that, we headed back to MGM to get ready for (you guessed it) another Thunder show. After that, there was something we’ll just leave alone and refer to as “The Chase”. Then we headed over to NYNY for the sole purpose that we’d ignored it our last two trips. We ended up at Studio Café at MGM for our usual 1 or 2 AM “dinner”. I swear we saw Marc Sommers from Food Network’s “Unwrapped” (or Nickelodeon’s “Double Dare” for those who grew up when I did). We enjoyed our meal there while studiously avoiding the stares of the creepy man to our right and the very cute but naughty man in front of us whose girlfriend had gone to the bathroom.
Our last full day, the depression set in, since we would be going home tomorrow. We spent most of the day hanging around MGM. Then we went to The Venetian. The Vegas virgin has a thing for Grand Luxe café, since she’d been to one of the few around the country. We took some pictures in the hotel, played a little, and headed to Grand Luxe. I was rather impressed. It’s on par, I’d say with The Cheesecake Factory (same company) or maybe half a step up. Some folks probably wouldn’t like it, but it’s not bad for just wanting to get something to eat. The portions were huge, though. That night was, of course, another, and our last, Thunder show. And this is where my sister got me good with the third flung drink of the trip. A nice 151 and Coke dead in my lap. I did learn that it is possible to run from the Castle to MGM in 4” heels without killing yourself or anyone else. Even though I did miss the first 15 minutes of the show. We went to bed shortly after the show since we knew we had to drag ourselves reluctantly out of the hotel to catch our flight for 12:30 the next day.
The next day arrives. Everyone is WAY down. And we’re already plotting for our next trip (July 15-21 tentatively lol). We get the bell desk to get our luggage, bypass the cab line, and get to the airport in a reasonable amount of time. Now if you’ll think back to the beginning of this admittedly long azz TR, you’ll remember my comments about getting there and back. Here we go.
We go to do curbside check-in with US Air. We’re asked where we’re going – Philly w/a connecting in Pittsburgh. Silence. Then – I heard that flight’s delayed – you need to go inside to the desk. Um. OK. Sure. As we stand in line, we start to look around. There’s an inordinate amount of distinctly unhappy people. Interesting. Being nosy, I start looking at the self-check-in kiosks beside us. Oh look – hers says “Your flight has been cancelled. There are no more flights today.” She looks thrilled. And theirs says “Your flight has been delayed. This will cause you to miss your connecting flight.” Lovely. Look over to the left – there’s someone who can’t seem to get to New York – we’re sorry sir, there’s nothing we can do right now. Uh-oh. It seems that anything coming to or from the East Coast is either delayed or not coming at all. We all call various East Coasters to see what the hell is going on. Nothing that they know of. O….kay. We watch as people continue to try to check in at the kiosks, only to be turned away. We gather that flight status is still being listed as on time and you don’t find out that it’s not on time until you actually get to the airport. That’s a great way to operate and keep your customers happy, dontcha think? I’m sure you’ve noticed that we made a lot of observations. That’s because we hadn’t moved in that line for a good half hour. Ah finally our tu…OH HELL NO. One of those little green vested men just cut in front of us with not a word or glance our way so that two people with him could go first. THEY WEREN’T EVEN IN THE LINE. He refuses to look at us, so we go up to him and have a nice conversation with him. He mutters something and turns his back. Oh I see how it’s going to be. 20 minutes LATER the line cutters are finished and they get multiple pairs of evil eyes at their backs since they cut off everyone else, too. We make sure to mention to the ticket agent that we’re not particularly appreciative at the moment. So can we get moving and just get us our new ticket or whatever. So he looks. And looks. Clears his throat. Looks some more. Um. Well THAT’S not good. After searching US Air, America West (apparently they’re not fully merged as of yet), and all the other airlines, the best he can get us is a 10:59 PM flight on America West. Arriving in Philly at 6 AM. We just look at him. Surely you jest. There’s nothing? No Southwest? No Delta? Ya can’t fly us to LAX and out of there? Nothing connecting in Phoenix? Salt Lake City? Cincinnati? Hm – apparently not. So yes…it is 11 AM….we won’t be leaving for another 12 hours.
He points us to a direction to turn in our itinerary vouchers. Did you know you can’t check in your luggage until 4 hours before the flight? I didn’t. I do now. The lady is like hm…you can’t even go through security. Oh and you have bags. Wow, that’s too bad. Ooh YA THINK?! We contemplate going back into town, but we’re also hoping that mayyyyyybe something else will come up. Which of course it doesn’t, but fools can always hope. I’m now keeping a running tally of things to put in my letter to US Air.
Did you know that there’s not ONE restaurant before security? So we enjoyed a meal of gummy worms, oriental mix and water in between sleeping, reading, moving to warmer chairs, sleeping, buying a new book because I finished the one I had, sleeping, and growing increasingly exponentially disgruntled. I also make a mental note to watch that movie “Terminal”.
At 6:59 PM on the dot, we make our way to the desk we’d been pointed to. Only to be told that was the wrong desk and we needed to get in line at the America West counter. Thanks US Air. So we get in line. They ask us where the rest of the papers are. Blank stares and WTF are you talking about? Apparently the US Air agent failed to give us…something (good customer service, maybe?). They talk to us slowly like we’re the idiots. We talk to them slowly back. No. We. Did. Not.Get. Anyyyyything. Else. This. Is. What. We. Got. After that exchange they head over to the US Air counter to get some paperwork that they weren’t provided with. They give us their phony Chiclet smiles and say oh well we’re not fully merged and thanks for your patience, to which the Vegas virgin replies, “Don’t thank us ‘til we’re done with you.” Eventually they get whatever it was they needed and give us our tickets. For all middle seats (oh joy, but at least we got a flight out). They all had “Lane 9” written on them in red Sharpie. I also failed to notice the letters “SSSS” printed on the ticket.
For those of you uninformed, let me tell you about Lane 9. It’s…interesting. I must thank TSA and America West for giving me yet another brand new experience. Lane 9 is one of those special security lanes. The kind where they let one person through a little waist high gate at a time. However, you don’t have to remove your shoes. OK. I go through the gate (after walking down a glass-walled “lane”), they snatch my ID, boarding pass and bags before giving me the staredown and point me to this…thing. It sounds like an MRI machine, looks like a transporter from Star Trek, and blows puffs of air at you. I felt violated and wondered who was looking at my goodies. From there you’re directed to a standard metal detector. OK fine moving on. You’re then barked at to sit down right there. Where a nice gloved TSA agent proceeds to look at your ticket an ID they’ve snatched, give you the once over and then opens all your carry on stuff in front of you and paws through it. At which point I got the giggles. I couldn’t help it - as I wondered what could possibly be in my ceramic curling iron or my makeup case and I was quite thankful I hadn’t put any dirty underwear in there or something. I almost completely lost it when they swabbed my cell phone (at least he put it back where he found it), struggled to look through my purse (what? I’m female. Serves you right, nosy.), and finally sent all of us on our way (yes, all 4 of us got Lane 9 status). At this point I was of the mind of what else could go wrong, this is unbelievable, this is going in my TR.
We eventually get on the (overbooked) flight. I get in my seat. That’s a middle seat. In the very back row. Across from the bathroom. All I have to say about this flight is that apparently middle of the night flights in a cramped back row in a middle seat give me claustrophobia I never knew I had. Oh and the lady on my left had a farting problem (until she finally decided to go to the bathroom) and the man on my left was doing something with his hand in his lap and making occasional “Ohhhugghhhh!” sounds. Philly NEVER looked so good. And we got in on time. Unfortunately, the lovely transport service did not and they sent us the same map-challenged man who arrived an hour late at 7 AM.
Things I’ve learned on this trip? I hate USAir and America West. With a passion. Use a different transport service. Call the cab an hour ahead. Staying up late is GREAT! And I must thank everyone for the suggestions of visiting Peppermill, using Earplanes (LIFESAVERS!), and using Airborne (whether psychosomatic or not, I didn’t get sick this time).
Pre-trip Feb 14
I suppose I should’ve known actually getting to and from Vegas would be an issue judging by how things started on February 14. Maybe it was a full moon or my chakras weren’t aligned or something. My plan was to leave on Amtrak from DC area to Philly after work on the 14th, as my sisters live in Philly and I always just meet up with them there and we fly out the next day.
I called a cab from my apartment at 5:45 PM. My train was to leave at 7:21 and the station is only 15 minutes away. By 6:10, no one had shown up.
I called again – “OK we’ll send someone.” “Uh…no you were supposed to send someone BEFORE.” “Oh, right, yeah they’re on their way…10 or 15 minutes.” Uh huh. Right.
Since I’m a nice person, I waited until 6:30 to call them back. “Yeah hi remember me? Person with suitcase? Needing a cab?” “Your cab came already – there was no one there.” “Pardon me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your company policy to CALL when the cab arrives?” “Yes – it says here that’s what the policy is.” “Right, so, why didn’t I get a call?” “Well, it says here the driver should have called.” “Yes he should have. So why didn’t he?” “Do you want another cab?” “Well I’m still here, aren’t I? What do you think? And could ya hurry it? You people are making me late.”
So this time I go outside. In the cold. In the dark. With a big azz suitcase. Wishing they would drive by me so I can have a choice conversation with them. 6:50. No cab. “Yeah. Hi. Cab?” “Oh.” “Oh? Where’s my cab?” “Well it says here they made a drop off at 6:43 and left at 6:46. Someone must have taken your cab.” “AUGHHHHH!” “We’ll send out another cab.” “Really. I’ll believe that when I see it.”
Apparently the fourth time’s the charm as this cab actually showed up. And that’s all it did. I understand this is 2006 and women are empowered and all, but would it KILL the driver to get out and HELP me with my suitcase? All he did was pop the trunk and grunt and point.
At any rate, I finally got to the train station where I had to wait for an hour and a half for the next (and final) train to Philly. Seeing as though I’d missed the 7:21 by 10 minutes. I love the cabs here – they’re all independently owned by people who make you wonder if they have a valid license (my guess is “NO”).
Feb 15
We have a fourth person going with us this trip. A Vegas virgin. Which amuses us immensely as we like to corru…ah…teach new people. Being smart, we’d arranged an airport shuttle to take us to the airport. We were due out at 7:45 AM on a US Air flight, so of course the man called at 3:00 to say he’d be there in a few. Uh no you won’t. Especially since you’re not due here until 5:15. Just thought you’d like to know. He apparently reads his instructions – ah yes yes 5:15. Uh huh right thanks. I guess being a driver for a shuttle does not entail actually needing to know how to get around the city. Since he called my sister and she was on the phone with him for 20 minutes directing him to their apartment. He finally got there more or less on time. We make the fun trek with two bags a piece down the stairs (3rd floor walkup) to the front (two sets of stairs). Keep in mind; this part of the East Coast had just had a foot of snow, which makes for great fun at 5 in the morning in the dark. After my sister fell on a solid sheet of black ice, got stared at by the man who eventually decided to help her, we were on our merry way…. after telling him how to get to the next pick up spot. We made a special note to not ever use that transport service again.
We finally got to the airport, did curbside check-in, made it through security in 15 minutes or so, got to the gate, didn’t have to wait long, and we were on our way. I mean, until we apparently got stuck behind a Southwest plane and had to decrease our speed. So said the pilot. I don’t think he was too fond of Southwest. Anyway we finally get to Vegas. Late. Around 10:55 Pacific Time. But only a half an hour, which is better than the hour last trip. Two of us go to check in at the MGM airport desk and the other two go to find the baggage and the limo driver (whoo-hoo Presidential!). We got checked in (rooms not ready, though), met up with everyone else, and we were on our merry way to MGM in the limo w/the Vegas virgin in tow. I was just happy to be back in my happy place again. Sure it had only been 5 months, but dammit those 5 months were LONG.
Since we had eleventy-seven (heavy) bags and a now useless collection of winter coats, we let the bellhop take our stuff and store it for us, got our claim ticket (oh so that’s how that works), and went off to Rainforest Café to eat. We must eat there once a trip (no I don’t know why – we just do). The line took forever to get through, we were ready to gnaw an arm off (no time to eat before the flight, and I made a mistake of buying food from the plane a few trips ago – mmmm foil flavored biscuit), but bacon cheeseburgers make all right in the world. Or bacon cheeseburgers in Vegas, at least.
The rest of the day consisted of going to the castle to pick up Thunder From Down Under tickets (yes I mention them in every TR and yes we go multiple times every trip – sue me) and signing our Vegas virgin friend up for the MGM and The One Club players club cards. If I remember correctly, we may have paid Luxor and Mandalay a visit that day, too. Since we were already over there. And we were in VEGAS baby! Whoo! We finally got to our rooms, had our bags delivered, and then were dead to the world until 7 or so. Naps – the East Coaster’s secret weapon. Heh.
We eventually got ourselves together and got back to the Castle in time for the 10:30 Thunder show (which I’ll skip details of for the sake of the men on the board – see, aren’t I sweet?). But I will mention that my sister Ms. Butterfingers did manage to fling her strawberry daiquiri on the Vegas virgin’s white shirt at the show. This was only to be the first of three drink mishaps. I’m not sitting near her anymore. By the time the show ended at midnight, we’d been up pretty much 24 hours. But we weren’t tired and we were determined not to go to bed like a bunch of old women. Like the last three trips. * hangs head in shame *
In the last three trips, we’d never been off Strip. So we decided to pay a visit to Palms. It was rather…dead, actually. I suppose that was due to the fact it was the middle of the week in winter. Eh oh well. Least we could say we’d been there. We played a little, lost a little, got the Vegas virgin hooked on WOF, remembered we hadn’t eaten since 11-ish and went to eat at 24/7. Or whatever that was. Something. As you’ll see in the pictures I’ll be posting (after my sister finishes the uploads), sometimes fish and chips can be…obscene.
Feb 16-20
Because things get hazy and run together, I’ll just lump everything else together here. The next day I was awake by 6 freakin’ 45. No I don’t know why. My sister and I amused ourselves by texting back and forth between our rooms. The Vegas virgin was also awake reading “Angels and Demons” (apt, no?). My other sister was…asleep. Or would have been if I didn’t keep whispering annoying things to her. Heh. I think that was the day we decided on going off-Strip again – this time to Rio for lunch (by the time we finally got going). 11 stations are perfect for greedy people like me. Of course I saved most of my room for dessert. Sugar is heaven. And heaven is Vegas. So does that mean sugar is Vegas? Hmm.
Anyway, we cabbed over to TI from Rio and went to the Tix4Tonight booth at Fashion Show Mall to get tickets for the Star Trek Experience. Yes we’re all big nerds. But the Vegas virgin hadn’t been yet, so who were we to say no? While we were at that end of the Strip, we decided to cross over to Wynn, since we’d somehow not made it there on the previous trip. Well I do see what all the excitement’s about. Gorgeous place. Didn’t go in any of the stores, as none of us can afford to buy the clothes we’d need just to go in. Somehow four black chicks in sneakers and jeans, no matter how nice, just didn’t feel right. Oooh Manolo! But moving on, yes a beautiful place and somewhere I’d stay just once (of course I said “just once” about Vegas, too, so….). We signed up for the Red Card, and yes they’re still running the 50 points for a buffet deal. Which we didn’t take advantage of because we only played a little bit that day (not sure how I feel about the casino, yet).
After gawking at Wynn, we cabbed over to the LV Hilton to do the Star Trek Experience. On the way, we signed up for the Resorts card (Why not? Didn’t have that one yet, either.). We did the Borg whatsit first followed by the Klingon Encounter (gotta love the half price ticket – it gets you admission to both). Afterwards, we headed over to Quark’s for the express purpose of getting the Warpcore Breach again. The waiter told us there was also a new one out, the Borg Sphere. Which comes in a fishbowl as well, but is a noxious green. You’ll see from the pictures – when I post them. He somehow talked us into getting two – one for each pair of people. Why we listened to him, I’ll never know. Let’s just say that by the end of that experience, we’d been picked on by a Klingon, discovered that there was apparently more alcohol in that drink than one would think, and been convinced to take our ice cream toppings back with us to our rooms (hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time). We took Monorail back (Vegas virgin needed to experience these things, we felt) to MGM, stumbled back to the 15th floor and took the ever-present nap.
That night we headed to Riviera to go to the American Storm show and meet up w/some people we know who live in Vegas. That’s also where my sister knocked over her second drink of the trip. This time she flung a Jack and Coke that, thankfully ended up on no one. Unfortunately the showroom Storm performs in turns into Syn City after the show. Oh. My. GOD. I’ll never get that hour and a half of my life after the show back. We were so depressed after seeing that
* ahem * club we just headed back to MGM, past Tabu (oh look there are all the people), and went to bed.
The following day we contemplated Aladdin or Paris for breakfast but laziness availed and we went to House of Blues, instead. I finally got to try stuffed French toast. My stomach is STILL happy. That might actually inspire me to actually make breakfast once in a while. The waitress gave us some tickets to something they have on Friday nights. We didn’t make it there, but free is free. I believe we spent time in Luxor and Mandalay Place people watching. And still didn’t make it to damn Burger Bar. Oh well. There’s always next time.
That night was again a Thunder night (yes again – told you, multiple times). Then we decided to try out Peppermill (yes, I know, FINALLY). That décor would be tacky anywhere else, but I loved the atmosphere and the food.
From there we went over to Riviera to get a cab. Which drove past us and picked up some other people. Bastards. So we went through Riviera, which for some reason, was filled with some of the creepiest losers I’ve ever come across. We got out of there quickly and decided that was perhaps not the place to be at that time of night. Still no cab, so we went over to Stardust. Which we’d meant to check out, anyway, before it’s gone. That was pretty full, it took a year to find the front, and we got out there in time to get the one lone cab sitting there. Which we hailed over ourselves since there was no door person.
The following day, the Vegas virgin was tired and wanted to stay in. We all slept in and then my sisters and myself decided to cab over to Bellagio to look at the Conservatory. Yes we missed the Conservatory the other trips, too. And what? I have to say, that was really quite beautiful to see. It was decorated for the Chinese New Year with the Year of the Dog. Although I wasn’t too keen on the animatronic dog – too much like that creepy Teddy Ruxpin thing – only GIANT. As you’ll see in the pictures (eventually) we liked it very much and got pictures from all angles. After B, we paid a visit to Bally’s since one sister had never been there (this was her second trip). We played a little there then made the mistake of eating at the café there. Won’t be doing that again. The food was passable, but really not worth the time of stopping. From there we headed straight through to Paris and wandered around a bit. We always like looking at the lobby of Paris (yes we notice odd things). After that, we headed back to MGM to get ready for (you guessed it) another Thunder show. After that, there was something we’ll just leave alone and refer to as “The Chase”. Then we headed over to NYNY for the sole purpose that we’d ignored it our last two trips. We ended up at Studio Café at MGM for our usual 1 or 2 AM “dinner”. I swear we saw Marc Sommers from Food Network’s “Unwrapped” (or Nickelodeon’s “Double Dare” for those who grew up when I did). We enjoyed our meal there while studiously avoiding the stares of the creepy man to our right and the very cute but naughty man in front of us whose girlfriend had gone to the bathroom.
Our last full day, the depression set in, since we would be going home tomorrow. We spent most of the day hanging around MGM. Then we went to The Venetian. The Vegas virgin has a thing for Grand Luxe café, since she’d been to one of the few around the country. We took some pictures in the hotel, played a little, and headed to Grand Luxe. I was rather impressed. It’s on par, I’d say with The Cheesecake Factory (same company) or maybe half a step up. Some folks probably wouldn’t like it, but it’s not bad for just wanting to get something to eat. The portions were huge, though. That night was, of course, another, and our last, Thunder show. And this is where my sister got me good with the third flung drink of the trip. A nice 151 and Coke dead in my lap. I did learn that it is possible to run from the Castle to MGM in 4” heels without killing yourself or anyone else. Even though I did miss the first 15 minutes of the show. We went to bed shortly after the show since we knew we had to drag ourselves reluctantly out of the hotel to catch our flight for 12:30 the next day.
The next day arrives. Everyone is WAY down. And we’re already plotting for our next trip (July 15-21 tentatively lol). We get the bell desk to get our luggage, bypass the cab line, and get to the airport in a reasonable amount of time. Now if you’ll think back to the beginning of this admittedly long azz TR, you’ll remember my comments about getting there and back. Here we go.
We go to do curbside check-in with US Air. We’re asked where we’re going – Philly w/a connecting in Pittsburgh. Silence. Then – I heard that flight’s delayed – you need to go inside to the desk. Um. OK. Sure. As we stand in line, we start to look around. There’s an inordinate amount of distinctly unhappy people. Interesting. Being nosy, I start looking at the self-check-in kiosks beside us. Oh look – hers says “Your flight has been cancelled. There are no more flights today.” She looks thrilled. And theirs says “Your flight has been delayed. This will cause you to miss your connecting flight.” Lovely. Look over to the left – there’s someone who can’t seem to get to New York – we’re sorry sir, there’s nothing we can do right now. Uh-oh. It seems that anything coming to or from the East Coast is either delayed or not coming at all. We all call various East Coasters to see what the hell is going on. Nothing that they know of. O….kay. We watch as people continue to try to check in at the kiosks, only to be turned away. We gather that flight status is still being listed as on time and you don’t find out that it’s not on time until you actually get to the airport. That’s a great way to operate and keep your customers happy, dontcha think? I’m sure you’ve noticed that we made a lot of observations. That’s because we hadn’t moved in that line for a good half hour. Ah finally our tu…OH HELL NO. One of those little green vested men just cut in front of us with not a word or glance our way so that two people with him could go first. THEY WEREN’T EVEN IN THE LINE. He refuses to look at us, so we go up to him and have a nice conversation with him. He mutters something and turns his back. Oh I see how it’s going to be. 20 minutes LATER the line cutters are finished and they get multiple pairs of evil eyes at their backs since they cut off everyone else, too. We make sure to mention to the ticket agent that we’re not particularly appreciative at the moment. So can we get moving and just get us our new ticket or whatever. So he looks. And looks. Clears his throat. Looks some more. Um. Well THAT’S not good. After searching US Air, America West (apparently they’re not fully merged as of yet), and all the other airlines, the best he can get us is a 10:59 PM flight on America West. Arriving in Philly at 6 AM. We just look at him. Surely you jest. There’s nothing? No Southwest? No Delta? Ya can’t fly us to LAX and out of there? Nothing connecting in Phoenix? Salt Lake City? Cincinnati? Hm – apparently not. So yes…it is 11 AM….we won’t be leaving for another 12 hours.
He points us to a direction to turn in our itinerary vouchers. Did you know you can’t check in your luggage until 4 hours before the flight? I didn’t. I do now. The lady is like hm…you can’t even go through security. Oh and you have bags. Wow, that’s too bad. Ooh YA THINK?! We contemplate going back into town, but we’re also hoping that mayyyyyybe something else will come up. Which of course it doesn’t, but fools can always hope. I’m now keeping a running tally of things to put in my letter to US Air.
Did you know that there’s not ONE restaurant before security? So we enjoyed a meal of gummy worms, oriental mix and water in between sleeping, reading, moving to warmer chairs, sleeping, buying a new book because I finished the one I had, sleeping, and growing increasingly exponentially disgruntled. I also make a mental note to watch that movie “Terminal”.
At 6:59 PM on the dot, we make our way to the desk we’d been pointed to. Only to be told that was the wrong desk and we needed to get in line at the America West counter. Thanks US Air. So we get in line. They ask us where the rest of the papers are. Blank stares and WTF are you talking about? Apparently the US Air agent failed to give us…something (good customer service, maybe?). They talk to us slowly like we’re the idiots. We talk to them slowly back. No. We. Did. Not.Get. Anyyyyything. Else. This. Is. What. We. Got. After that exchange they head over to the US Air counter to get some paperwork that they weren’t provided with. They give us their phony Chiclet smiles and say oh well we’re not fully merged and thanks for your patience, to which the Vegas virgin replies, “Don’t thank us ‘til we’re done with you.” Eventually they get whatever it was they needed and give us our tickets. For all middle seats (oh joy, but at least we got a flight out). They all had “Lane 9” written on them in red Sharpie. I also failed to notice the letters “SSSS” printed on the ticket.
For those of you uninformed, let me tell you about Lane 9. It’s…interesting. I must thank TSA and America West for giving me yet another brand new experience. Lane 9 is one of those special security lanes. The kind where they let one person through a little waist high gate at a time. However, you don’t have to remove your shoes. OK. I go through the gate (after walking down a glass-walled “lane”), they snatch my ID, boarding pass and bags before giving me the staredown and point me to this…thing. It sounds like an MRI machine, looks like a transporter from Star Trek, and blows puffs of air at you. I felt violated and wondered who was looking at my goodies. From there you’re directed to a standard metal detector. OK fine moving on. You’re then barked at to sit down right there. Where a nice gloved TSA agent proceeds to look at your ticket an ID they’ve snatched, give you the once over and then opens all your carry on stuff in front of you and paws through it. At which point I got the giggles. I couldn’t help it - as I wondered what could possibly be in my ceramic curling iron or my makeup case and I was quite thankful I hadn’t put any dirty underwear in there or something. I almost completely lost it when they swabbed my cell phone (at least he put it back where he found it), struggled to look through my purse (what? I’m female. Serves you right, nosy.), and finally sent all of us on our way (yes, all 4 of us got Lane 9 status). At this point I was of the mind of what else could go wrong, this is unbelievable, this is going in my TR.
We eventually get on the (overbooked) flight. I get in my seat. That’s a middle seat. In the very back row. Across from the bathroom. All I have to say about this flight is that apparently middle of the night flights in a cramped back row in a middle seat give me claustrophobia I never knew I had. Oh and the lady on my left had a farting problem (until she finally decided to go to the bathroom) and the man on my left was doing something with his hand in his lap and making occasional “Ohhhugghhhh!” sounds. Philly NEVER looked so good. And we got in on time. Unfortunately, the lovely transport service did not and they sent us the same map-challenged man who arrived an hour late at 7 AM.
Things I’ve learned on this trip? I hate USAir and America West. With a passion. Use a different transport service. Call the cab an hour ahead. Staying up late is GREAT! And I must thank everyone for the suggestions of visiting Peppermill, using Earplanes (LIFESAVERS!), and using Airborne (whether psychosomatic or not, I didn’t get sick this time).
What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?
| Your Hair Should Be Blue |
 |
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Mr. Telephone Man
I hate Verizon. More than I hate Comcast and the IRS. But I'm not talking about them today. I can only deal with one headache causing annoyance at a time, people. Anywhoodie...
Verizon sucks ASS! I have them for my telephone service - for several reasons 1) I'd get Vonage, but the whole "we don't have 911 service" thing bothers me 2) Worldcom went bye-bye and 3) when you set up your local service and Verizon gives you a choice, the list is like 40 names long, none of which I'd actually heard of, so instead of dealing with Leroy's Long Distance and Rib Shack, I choose to deal with...Verizon.
The other day I was at home. It was my day off. I was in a good mood. On the phone with my sister. On my computer surfing around. In my room watching TV. Then an expected fax didn't come through. Many times. My roommate called my phone to see if it worked - it went straight to voicemail. I picked up my phone - dead air, static, faint voices, and a faint "we're sorry, please hang up and place your call again". So after checking to make sure I'd actually paid my phone bill (you know it's embarrassing when you call up a company all indignant only to find out it's your fault because you're three months behind and forgot), I put in an online request for service. It said I could get an appointment for the next day. Ooh yay, unexpected but cool.
I should've known better. This isn't my first time dealing with Verizon. So the next day is Saturday. I've been given an "appointment" time between 8 AM and 6 PM. Great. That's only 10 hours to sit around and do nothing. I check the status of my order online. Still says 6 PM. OK. Let's just say I wasted a day. And at the end of that day I was still in tin can and string mode. I sent in a letter of complaint for the no-show lazy ass unqualified telephone repair technician. Sunday I checked my order status - according to them, there had been an outage in the area, my number was one of those affected, and the problem was due to be fixed by 9 PM....the PREVIOUS day. That was some serious bull since I'm pretty sure my roommate's phone would have been affected. I looked at my order status - oh look they couldn't "find" the information. So I put in another order - and got an appointment for TUESday between 8 AM and 8 PM. Did I mention I hate Verizon?
I got my phone service back for a hot second that day. And then it broke again. So on Monday when I got to work, I called Verizon. When the illiterate-sounding person answered the phone (after 5 rings, no less) they said that I'd put in an order for Tuesday. Ooh ya THINK?! I responded with I'd actually put in an order for Saturday, but since no one could see fit to actually show up and do their job, I'd had to place another order. And I was calling to talk to an actual person to see if someone might take it upon themselves to actually show up on Tuesday. After a silence Mr. Hooked on Phonics informed me someone would definitely come out on Tuesday. Mm-hm really. So could he at least tell me what the problem was? Well he could test my line. Um yeah duh hop to it. HE tells me there's a short in my line. Whatever that means. And whatever you half-breed idiot. Just send somebody to fix my damn phone line.
Tuesday I'm up and waiting. Not expecting much because, after all, this IS Verizon. So I sit. I eat. I watch TV. I clean out some more papers and stuff for the upcoming move. I play on the computer (on a sidenote thank the Lord I have cable modem - had I gone with Verizon DSL I would doubly be shit out of luck). So it's 9. It's 10. It's 11. Then I notice my message light is flashing. Which it wasn't before. I pick up the phone. Oh look they fixed it AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME. And the message? From the day before. When Verizon called and left a message asking if my line was working and if it wasn't could I give them a call back. There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I don't even know where to start. OK you know my line's not working. But you call me. Since my line isn't working, I don't know when I have a message without waiting until I go to work and calling my voicemail. But yet you leave me a message. Then you tell me to call you. With WHAT?! Hold on, let me go get my Batman light and I'll send you a signal.
Verizon shall be receiving a nicely worded letter from me this week. I hate buying stamps, but they suck monkey nuts, and it's worth the effort.
Verizon sucks ASS! I have them for my telephone service - for several reasons 1) I'd get Vonage, but the whole "we don't have 911 service" thing bothers me 2) Worldcom went bye-bye and 3) when you set up your local service and Verizon gives you a choice, the list is like 40 names long, none of which I'd actually heard of, so instead of dealing with Leroy's Long Distance and Rib Shack, I choose to deal with...Verizon.
The other day I was at home. It was my day off. I was in a good mood. On the phone with my sister. On my computer surfing around. In my room watching TV. Then an expected fax didn't come through. Many times. My roommate called my phone to see if it worked - it went straight to voicemail. I picked up my phone - dead air, static, faint voices, and a faint "we're sorry, please hang up and place your call again". So after checking to make sure I'd actually paid my phone bill (you know it's embarrassing when you call up a company all indignant only to find out it's your fault because you're three months behind and forgot), I put in an online request for service. It said I could get an appointment for the next day. Ooh yay, unexpected but cool.
I should've known better. This isn't my first time dealing with Verizon. So the next day is Saturday. I've been given an "appointment" time between 8 AM and 6 PM. Great. That's only 10 hours to sit around and do nothing. I check the status of my order online. Still says 6 PM. OK. Let's just say I wasted a day. And at the end of that day I was still in tin can and string mode. I sent in a letter of complaint for the no-show lazy ass unqualified telephone repair technician. Sunday I checked my order status - according to them, there had been an outage in the area, my number was one of those affected, and the problem was due to be fixed by 9 PM....the PREVIOUS day. That was some serious bull since I'm pretty sure my roommate's phone would have been affected. I looked at my order status - oh look they couldn't "find" the information. So I put in another order - and got an appointment for TUESday between 8 AM and 8 PM. Did I mention I hate Verizon?
I got my phone service back for a hot second that day. And then it broke again. So on Monday when I got to work, I called Verizon. When the illiterate-sounding person answered the phone (after 5 rings, no less) they said that I'd put in an order for Tuesday. Ooh ya THINK?! I responded with I'd actually put in an order for Saturday, but since no one could see fit to actually show up and do their job, I'd had to place another order. And I was calling to talk to an actual person to see if someone might take it upon themselves to actually show up on Tuesday. After a silence Mr. Hooked on Phonics informed me someone would definitely come out on Tuesday. Mm-hm really. So could he at least tell me what the problem was? Well he could test my line. Um yeah duh hop to it. HE tells me there's a short in my line. Whatever that means. And whatever you half-breed idiot. Just send somebody to fix my damn phone line.
Tuesday I'm up and waiting. Not expecting much because, after all, this IS Verizon. So I sit. I eat. I watch TV. I clean out some more papers and stuff for the upcoming move. I play on the computer (on a sidenote thank the Lord I have cable modem - had I gone with Verizon DSL I would doubly be shit out of luck). So it's 9. It's 10. It's 11. Then I notice my message light is flashing. Which it wasn't before. I pick up the phone. Oh look they fixed it AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME. And the message? From the day before. When Verizon called and left a message asking if my line was working and if it wasn't could I give them a call back. There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I don't even know where to start. OK you know my line's not working. But you call me. Since my line isn't working, I don't know when I have a message without waiting until I go to work and calling my voicemail. But yet you leave me a message. Then you tell me to call you. With WHAT?! Hold on, let me go get my Batman light and I'll send you a signal.
Verizon shall be receiving a nicely worded letter from me this week. I hate buying stamps, but they suck monkey nuts, and it's worth the effort.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Now I Know Why People Go "Postal"
And ya'll better be glad I don't work for the post office. At work I was working on something that I was TOLD was due January 16. I come back from Christmas break and it's "Oh - it's actually January 3." OK, fine, I'll deal. Since I work for the government, everything is an ordeal. My project was a 300 word abstract. Simple right? Just remember - government, people.
To get to these "simple" 300 words, I was forced to 1) look at some data - THAT I DON'T HAVE BECAUSE I NEVER WORKED ON IT, 2) interpret said data - EASIER SAID THAN DONE BECAUSE I NEVER WORKED ON IT, 3) run some statistics on this data, which is all fine and good, except - I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO WHAT YOU ASKED, and then 4) write these "simple" 300 words and submit to my boss for review (which means it will be ripped to shreds, left with 3 original words of my own, and rewritten by my boss for what SHE wants to say...about MY abstract).
Anyway.... I go to my boss to ask for the imaginary data and she acts surprised that I don't have it (NOT MY PROJECT PEOPLE) and then gives me a thick sheaf of Access printouts which I must now decode - which of course is after she told me the data is in our system - which it isn't. To decode this data, I now have to retype it in Excel and add some formulas so I can get one number instead of 800. Then I have to run statistics. Which I know how to do a certain type but I understood not one word that came out of her mouth on that subject - turns out SHE had a statistician write up a formula. Uh-huh. So I go to a colleague who has said formula. Now since I'm apparently an unschooled idiot with an IQ of 2, instead of just telling me what the formula is, I get a damn spreadsheet that she did for her data and an hour long "tutorial" - much of which is spent with her asking me if I knew how to use Excel. After managing not to bash her in the head with her own stapler, I take the data and the statistics and get to writing. Futile exercise, I know, but we must please the lions to keep from being eaten, no?
So I do all that crap and give it to my boss. Who promptly goes on vacation. But she finds time to e-mail and call. In short, in the whole week, I spoke to her more times than if she had actually been present. I get my revisions back from her. Now if I tell somebody I'm going to do something then I'M GOING TO DO IT. Do NOT keep calling to check on me. Do NOT send a colleague to ask condescending things about how I'm doing, where am I, or DO I NEED ANY HELP. NO!!!!!!! People I am NOT an idiot. I went to school. I did quite well. I even know how to write. Imagine THAT. *puts down knives*
So - because my boss decides I'm apparently too dim to understand anything she might tell me, she decides to come in on Friday. My early day. The day before a holiday weekend. A day in which, because she was nitpicking over ONE sentence, didn't end until an hour and a half AFTER I was supposed to leave. I was so ready to strangle her with my shoelace. So I managed to get the abstract done, in SPITE of these idiots and submit "my" words on time. Oh wow - lookit that. I'm capable! Who woulda thunk it? All I'm saying is if anyone even LOOKS at me sideways today we will have it out.
To get to these "simple" 300 words, I was forced to 1) look at some data - THAT I DON'T HAVE BECAUSE I NEVER WORKED ON IT, 2) interpret said data - EASIER SAID THAN DONE BECAUSE I NEVER WORKED ON IT, 3) run some statistics on this data, which is all fine and good, except - I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO WHAT YOU ASKED, and then 4) write these "simple" 300 words and submit to my boss for review (which means it will be ripped to shreds, left with 3 original words of my own, and rewritten by my boss for what SHE wants to say...about MY abstract).
Anyway.... I go to my boss to ask for the imaginary data and she acts surprised that I don't have it (NOT MY PROJECT PEOPLE) and then gives me a thick sheaf of Access printouts which I must now decode - which of course is after she told me the data is in our system - which it isn't. To decode this data, I now have to retype it in Excel and add some formulas so I can get one number instead of 800. Then I have to run statistics. Which I know how to do a certain type but I understood not one word that came out of her mouth on that subject - turns out SHE had a statistician write up a formula. Uh-huh. So I go to a colleague who has said formula. Now since I'm apparently an unschooled idiot with an IQ of 2, instead of just telling me what the formula is, I get a damn spreadsheet that she did for her data and an hour long "tutorial" - much of which is spent with her asking me if I knew how to use Excel. After managing not to bash her in the head with her own stapler, I take the data and the statistics and get to writing. Futile exercise, I know, but we must please the lions to keep from being eaten, no?
So I do all that crap and give it to my boss. Who promptly goes on vacation. But she finds time to e-mail and call. In short, in the whole week, I spoke to her more times than if she had actually been present. I get my revisions back from her. Now if I tell somebody I'm going to do something then I'M GOING TO DO IT. Do NOT keep calling to check on me. Do NOT send a colleague to ask condescending things about how I'm doing, where am I, or DO I NEED ANY HELP. NO!!!!!!! People I am NOT an idiot. I went to school. I did quite well. I even know how to write. Imagine THAT. *puts down knives*
So - because my boss decides I'm apparently too dim to understand anything she might tell me, she decides to come in on Friday. My early day. The day before a holiday weekend. A day in which, because she was nitpicking over ONE sentence, didn't end until an hour and a half AFTER I was supposed to leave. I was so ready to strangle her with my shoelace. So I managed to get the abstract done, in SPITE of these idiots and submit "my" words on time. Oh wow - lookit that. I'm capable! Who woulda thunk it? All I'm saying is if anyone even LOOKS at me sideways today we will have it out.
Monday, October 24, 2005
I Wrote a New Poem (and don't try to steal it)
YAY the end of my close to two year writer's block!
Puzzle Pieces
Trying hard to fit in
Don’t know where the real me’s been
Losing myself in the meaning
Of what other people think
Tried too hard not to be me
Lost my way
But now I see
That the road less traveled is the road I need
Blurred is the line between me and her
Tattered the soul that lies within
Stretched in the distance is a journey’s end
Answers will appear much further
Searching self darkness for the light
Wandering aimlessly through mind’s night
Where is the place where I should be?
What is the way that I should see?
Too much time gone and wasted
Not enough time has passed me by
Many sorrows pains and pinches
No scars to show what’s learned
Finding the way through life’s valleys
Separating fact from inward scorn
Running from dangers imagination
Running toward excitement of life unseen
Throw away everything
Keep nothing back
Collect bits and pieces
Discard the trash
Round the round beginning no end
Infinity’s loop, gravity’s spin
Checkerboard patterns in the daylight
Thoughts smooth as satin flowing bright
Embrace release relax inhale
Believe forget emote impale
Open textbook word upon word
Writing speaking teaching turn
Health and feeling
Thought and speech
Bright dot visions
Felt beneath
Puzzle pieces willing to grow
Fill in the spaces as we go
How to fit and work and be
Only years will make new me
©BAS 10/24/05
Puzzle Pieces
Trying hard to fit in
Don’t know where the real me’s been
Losing myself in the meaning
Of what other people think
Tried too hard not to be me
Lost my way
But now I see
That the road less traveled is the road I need
Blurred is the line between me and her
Tattered the soul that lies within
Stretched in the distance is a journey’s end
Answers will appear much further
Searching self darkness for the light
Wandering aimlessly through mind’s night
Where is the place where I should be?
What is the way that I should see?
Too much time gone and wasted
Not enough time has passed me by
Many sorrows pains and pinches
No scars to show what’s learned
Finding the way through life’s valleys
Separating fact from inward scorn
Running from dangers imagination
Running toward excitement of life unseen
Throw away everything
Keep nothing back
Collect bits and pieces
Discard the trash
Round the round beginning no end
Infinity’s loop, gravity’s spin
Checkerboard patterns in the daylight
Thoughts smooth as satin flowing bright
Embrace release relax inhale
Believe forget emote impale
Open textbook word upon word
Writing speaking teaching turn
Health and feeling
Thought and speech
Bright dot visions
Felt beneath
Puzzle pieces willing to grow
Fill in the spaces as we go
How to fit and work and be
Only years will make new me
©BAS 10/24/05
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Today is definitely Monday even though it's Tuesday
So I was off yesterday (about the only good thing about working for the government is that we get days we didn't know existed off). It would serve to purpose that today would, indeed, be my Monday. Went to bed at 12:30, my usual time. Proceeded to wake up at 1:15, 2:30, 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 5:00, 5:18 and finally just got up at 5:25, 5 minutes before when I was supposed to get up. I decide that despite the fact that it is Monday, I will make an effort to spend time on my hair and actually dress. Hair? Fuzzy. Makeup? WTF is wrong w/my right eyebrow? Anyway....I get dressed, ripping my shirt in the process. I pick up my shoes to change into at work - oh look at the cobwebs in them. After hunting for the owner of that web to no avail, I am finally ready to go. In the dark. I walk out the door, yes it's a nice 63 degrees but humidity is also 85%. Which means my hair went from S to in 2.5 seconds. So walking along through my complex and down the road to my bus stop I walk face first into a spiderweb. A very, very large spiderweb. That i can't see. Because it's dark. And the headlights are blinding me. I arrive at the bus stop swiping crazily at my face and being conscientously ignored by the suprisingly abundant number of people already there. And so begins my day. Tired, ripped, limp-haired and covered in invisible spiderwebs. Happy Monday even though it's Tuesday.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I got this from a friend and had nothing better to do
100 things about me
I’m very shy
I absolutely LOVE to read
My favorite colors are black and purple
I’m a good listener
I type very fast
Makeup is my favorite plaything
I always wear contacts – if you’ve known me since 1996, you have never seen me in glasses
I love summer
Vegas is my favorite place to be
I can’t swim
I don’t drive
I play the flute
I’m scared of heights, but I love to fly
Needles – I HATE needles, but I want a tattoo
E-mail and IM was made for me – I love to talk, but only there
I’m more angry than one might think
I write poetry
I have journals dating back to 9th grade (that was 15 years ago, ya’ll)
My job bores me
My favorite lunchmeat is Lebanon bologna
My favorite sandwich is a reuben
My drink of choice is Jack & Coke
Guilty pleasure – I watch “Laguna Beach”
I’m the oldest of three sisters
I skipped kindergarten
I love the 80’s
I wanted to be Diana Ross when I grew up
I love TV – I watch too much
Museums make me happy – so do libraries
I’m a big fan of Impressionist art
I almost never cry
James Bond movies are my favorite, especially “The Man With the Golden Gun”
I am an idiot at math
I read extremely fast (makes for an expensive habit)
I hate spending money on myself
I hate shopping
I love to eat
I am impatient
I’m also stubborn (I’m a Taurus – true to the bull)
I’ve got a dirty mind
I hate the sound of people chewing
My musical tastes are “weird” to some
I love Motown music
And disco
And music from The Phantom of the Opera
I don’t like my smile
I don’t like talking on the phone – but you might be the exception
In order to graduate, I had to “work” in a hospital, a nursing home and a community health center
Hospitals scare me
I hate nursing homes
I’m scared of doctors
My middle name means “beautiful flower”
I’m not as nice as people think
I keep a lot to myself
Cleaning sucks
But I’m addicted to cleaning products
I can’t go to bed before midnight
I get up at quarter of five
I don’t wear skirts
I love 4” heels now, but only wore sneakers through college
I have a thing for BBC America
I hate guacamole
I gained 20 pounds after college but still wear the same size
I don’t exercise
I don’t like the color pink
My favorite flowers are morning glories and honeysuckle
I’m learning that what’s inside really does count most
Unorthodox people are far more interesting and cool
My favorite snack is hint of lime tortilla chips with peach salsa
Cantaloupe makes me queasy
So does honeydew
Watermelon makes me itch
I have a sweet tooth
I’m afraid of failure
I haven’t been to the movies in a year and a half
I haven’t been on a date in over two years
Beans are disgusting
My bed gives me backaches
I’ve seen a tornado coming head-on – and lived
I’ve been in my apartment when the building caught on fire – and lived
I’ve had a semi-automatic rifle pointed at me by a masked man – and lived
I’ve decided my life doesn’t need any spice and I am truly blessed
I don’t have any kids
I’ve always wanted to work in downtown DC
I never celebrated a birthday until I was 13 – they’re overrated – I’ve not had a birthday to remember
I want to ride a horse
I want to go to Paris
I hate pine furniture
I can’t dance
I’ve never been drunk (I WAS TIRED, OK?!)
I’ve never been to the Washington Monument (walked by it, around it, looked at it)
I love to walk down the Mall to the Lincoln Memorial and watch the sunset from the steps
I hate white bread
I have never broken a bone
I don’t like gold, but I do like silver
My eyes are my best feature
I’ve never seen any of the “Matrix” movies
Or the newest “Star Wars” movies
My memory is horrible
This list was hard to write
I’m very shy
I absolutely LOVE to read
My favorite colors are black and purple
I’m a good listener
I type very fast
Makeup is my favorite plaything
I always wear contacts – if you’ve known me since 1996, you have never seen me in glasses
I love summer
Vegas is my favorite place to be
I can’t swim
I don’t drive
I play the flute
I’m scared of heights, but I love to fly
Needles – I HATE needles, but I want a tattoo
E-mail and IM was made for me – I love to talk, but only there
I’m more angry than one might think
I write poetry
I have journals dating back to 9th grade (that was 15 years ago, ya’ll)
My job bores me
My favorite lunchmeat is Lebanon bologna
My favorite sandwich is a reuben
My drink of choice is Jack & Coke
Guilty pleasure – I watch “Laguna Beach”
I’m the oldest of three sisters
I skipped kindergarten
I love the 80’s
I wanted to be Diana Ross when I grew up
I love TV – I watch too much
Museums make me happy – so do libraries
I’m a big fan of Impressionist art
I almost never cry
James Bond movies are my favorite, especially “The Man With the Golden Gun”
I am an idiot at math
I read extremely fast (makes for an expensive habit)
I hate spending money on myself
I hate shopping
I love to eat
I am impatient
I’m also stubborn (I’m a Taurus – true to the bull)
I’ve got a dirty mind
I hate the sound of people chewing
My musical tastes are “weird” to some
I love Motown music
And disco
And music from The Phantom of the Opera
I don’t like my smile
I don’t like talking on the phone – but you might be the exception
In order to graduate, I had to “work” in a hospital, a nursing home and a community health center
Hospitals scare me
I hate nursing homes
I’m scared of doctors
My middle name means “beautiful flower”
I’m not as nice as people think
I keep a lot to myself
Cleaning sucks
But I’m addicted to cleaning products
I can’t go to bed before midnight
I get up at quarter of five
I don’t wear skirts
I love 4” heels now, but only wore sneakers through college
I have a thing for BBC America
I hate guacamole
I gained 20 pounds after college but still wear the same size
I don’t exercise
I don’t like the color pink
My favorite flowers are morning glories and honeysuckle
I’m learning that what’s inside really does count most
Unorthodox people are far more interesting and cool
My favorite snack is hint of lime tortilla chips with peach salsa
Cantaloupe makes me queasy
So does honeydew
Watermelon makes me itch
I have a sweet tooth
I’m afraid of failure
I haven’t been to the movies in a year and a half
I haven’t been on a date in over two years
Beans are disgusting
My bed gives me backaches
I’ve seen a tornado coming head-on – and lived
I’ve been in my apartment when the building caught on fire – and lived
I’ve had a semi-automatic rifle pointed at me by a masked man – and lived
I’ve decided my life doesn’t need any spice and I am truly blessed
I don’t have any kids
I’ve always wanted to work in downtown DC
I never celebrated a birthday until I was 13 – they’re overrated – I’ve not had a birthday to remember
I want to ride a horse
I want to go to Paris
I hate pine furniture
I can’t dance
I’ve never been drunk (I WAS TIRED, OK?!)
I’ve never been to the Washington Monument (walked by it, around it, looked at it)
I love to walk down the Mall to the Lincoln Memorial and watch the sunset from the steps
I hate white bread
I have never broken a bone
I don’t like gold, but I do like silver
My eyes are my best feature
I’ve never seen any of the “Matrix” movies
Or the newest “Star Wars” movies
My memory is horrible
This list was hard to write
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Yes I've Been Remiss In Posting - So Sue Me
Sooo....after that boring ass conference, I went to Vegas. Here's the trip report I wrote for several boards I belong to. Enjoy!
Thursday, September 1 – Monday, September 5 – MGM Grand
Thursday, 9/1
After an entire month of extreme over-preparation, this was trip #3 for my middle sister (A) and myself and our other sister (C) joined us this time for her first Vegas experience. Our first trip was July of last year and this was already our second trip this year (it’s a sickness, I tell you). We left at 3:45 PM on US Air out of Philly – we were supposedly due into Vegas at 5:56. We decided to eat before we got on the plane as none of us really felt the need to order an $8 salad until we actually got where we were going. This was C’s first time on a plane so we let her have the window seat so she could see – or get scared. Our flight left the gate about 20 minutes late due to some radar thingie that had to be replaced. Then there was a line for take-off. Then there was an 80-knot headwind somewhere over Kansas City. Needless to say, we got to Vegas an hour late. I love 6 hours in coach. Really I do.
After hobbling off the plane and popping our ears, our annoyance quickly dissipated after seeing the Strip upon landing and seeing slot machines. Not much action since US Air always lands in the bastard terminal. Hopped the tram to the main terminal and then the perma-grin hit. Thanks to the advice of people on various Vegas boards, we checked in at MGM at the airport. In and out in under 10 minutes w/extra room keys, the promised room with a view, and no questions asked. We’d booked Presidential Limo as we had with our last trip. Even though we were an hour late, our driver was cheerfully waiting (thanks everyone who recommended Kathy R.). Got our luggage w/no problem (we always bring our toiletries in our carry-ons – lesson learned the hard way after my luggage got lost when I was going to Mexico) and we were off in the limo. Got our champagne and roses and when Kathy heard it was C’s first time in Vegas she suggested a trip from Wynn up to MGM. As the champagne in empty stomachs and being in Vegas again were doing their magic, anything she suggested would’ve been met with a stupid grin and an enthusiastic “YEAH!” So C got a GREAT first impression (better than A and myself as we stayed at Sahara and took the Airport Shuttle…. but I digress) and had the camera out the window the whole time. Kathy got pics of us in the limo and outside the limo at the hotel.
Now I know MGM is big, but damn…that’s BIG. We breezed past the massive lines of people at check-in and went straight to the 20th floor and to our room (you know – after a 5 minute walk). Our room was in great shape and was a corner room with a view all the way down the strip. We could see the fountains and past them down to the LV Hilton. Went down for a quick dinner at Rainforest (we always have to go there once a trip – no I don’t know why), added MGM slot cards that A and myself didn’t pick up – last July – to what we have started calling our “nerd chains”, and hit the floor. Since our bodies swore it was after midnight, we all went up to “take a nap”, which leads us to…Friday.
Friday, 9/2
This was our “official” reason for being here. A’s 25th birthday. We were up and out of our room by 8 (hungry…so…hungry). We’ve always missed these fabulous buffets people keep mentioning, so we decided to take our hungry behinds to the Paris buffet (that’s one thing off the list). Things are a little fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure we took the monorail (A hates to walk – plus it was C’s first time so…). I now see why you all like the Paris buffet. I love food, I love to eat, and I’m greedy. That combined with that buffet meant I didn’t eat ‘til dinner and I wasn’t even hungry then. Between coffee and crepes and smoked salmon and pastries, dear God I was in heaven.
The rest of the day we wandered around adding on to our nerd chains, feeding money into slots without blinking, and drinking at inappropriate times of the day. We had reservations for A’s birthday dinner for 5 at Mesa Grill. I know people said it was overrated, but we enjoyed ourselves, dammit, so there. The service was great (loved the switching out of white napkins for black since we were all in black slacks), the atmosphere was great, we loved our waiters (we had a team of three we nicknamed Robert, Vasquez and Sterling), appreciated the manager stopping by (nicknamed him Esteban), and the food was excellent. I ended up with the tiger shrimp and roasted garlic tamale, lamb porterhouse and some dessert involving poppyseed cake with some sort of creamy goodness inside. A decided to be “adventurous” and got fried squash blossoms w/ricotta, salmon and something involving chocolate. C evilly decided on grilled scallops, rabbit (yes she ate Thumper), and chocolate ice cream that had cayenne pepper in it (and it was GOOD).
After playing more slots at Caesar’s, visiting the Elton John store (C has a thing for him), and catching a cab back to MGM, we changed and headed off to a 10:30 Thunder From Down Under show (those who have read my TR’s before should know to expect this – those who haven’t – welcome to my world – it’s in every TR – get used to it). Moving on to Saturday.
Saturday, 9/3
We started out the day by standing in the hot @$$ sun at Tix 4 Tonite (I think that’s the one – fuzzies are intruding again) past the Hawaiian Marketplace – that line was still shorter than the ½ price place at the Coke bottle. We got half price tickets for the Star Trek Experience (C is a serious Trekker, though she cannot claim a Star Trek convention) and for the American Storm show at Riviera (never actually thought I’d set foot in that place – just never had the urge – and A hates the lights).
We went took monorail to the Hilton to do the Star Trek thing. I can honestly say I enjoyed it – though I think not paying half price would have been a rip off, since we got to see both experiences at the half price price instead of one. After the experiences and after C got her pics done in the captain’s chair and the Borg regeneration chamber (I know, I know, I have no control over her) we went to lunch at Quark’s bar. We’d been there on our last trip (but not the experiences) and wanted to try the Warp Core Breach – and since there were three of us, we figured that would give us a better chance of walking out of there under our own power. Quark’s turned out to be a blast. We took pictures of C with the various characters walking around – Ferengi, Klingons and one very hysterically funny Borg. After some food and one very large drink later (still trying to figure out how they put dry ice in a drink legally) we went back to our hotel to get ready for a night of both American Storm at 7:30 and another Thunder show at 10:30 – both of which I’ll spare you the details.
Sunday, 9/4
More sightseeing and casino hopping. Since this was C’s first trip, we had to take the time to visit properties so she could drink it all in. So this trip we got less done than previous trips. Plus this was a short trip. We ended our last night with an extremely large NY style pizza from some place on the bottom floor of MGM (found by accident when we got off the monorail at a different stairway – perhaps one really SHOULD read the brochure). At 12:01, I was downstairs at the business center printing out “A” passes for my first experience with Southwest for the return trip home the next day.
Monday, 9/5
Our last day. Checked the bill, it was fine, did express check-out, once again avoiding the lines. Left our baggage with the bell desk and went to the Forum Shops for some last minute shopping/drooling. My other self loves Pucci and Cavalli and tends to stand in those stores with a dazed look then walk out. We went from Caesar’s to Aladdin to get our free margaritas that came w/signing up for the slot club (we don’t go there a lot but free is always good). We got back to MGM as slowly as possible and then cabbed it over to the airport. Got in the “A” line for our 1:30 flight on Southwest and headed off on our indirect flight home. Landed in Chicago w/an hour or so layover and got on the final leg of our flight back to Philly. Due to an extremely funny mantendant on our second Southwest flight, I now find Southwest maybe not so bad after all. We got in to Philly at 11 PM half an hour early and immediately started plans for the next trip in January. We need rest after the holidays, you know.
Random Thoughts:
The mountain view always makes me happy. As does 100+º heat with no humidity. I hate crowds but when the other me comes out she does alright. I’m glad to have gotten some things off my list – Paris buffet, Mesa Grill, Star Trek Experience. But others are always added on. I missed going to the fountains and didn’t make it to Wynn. Didn’t get to the Bellagio or Aladdin buffets. Nor did we get to our old favorite, the Mandalay buffet (A has a thing for their Mongolian beef – I’m just greedy). Wanted to make it to In-n-Out, Fatburger and the Burger Bar and didn’t do that either (you notice I’m mentioning a lot of food here – see told you I’m greedy). The time share people are getting innovative – they sic hot young men on the females now. We got caught and I ended up telling someone I would be 25 maybe in a couple of months (I’m 28) (I see I need to add a timeshare lie – er – story to my repertoire – I already have a fake boyfriend story on hand). I still haven’t made it downtown or even off-Strip. I am officially in love with the ever so monstrous MGM (so what if it takes an hour to get anywhere). Kudos again to Presidential Limo and Kathy. And even kudos to Southwest. As always I need to return – now.
As soon as C finishes with the captions to the pictures, I’ll post the link, but I wanted to get this down before the fuzziness completely took over.
Thursday, September 1 – Monday, September 5 – MGM Grand
Thursday, 9/1
After an entire month of extreme over-preparation, this was trip #3 for my middle sister (A) and myself and our other sister (C) joined us this time for her first Vegas experience. Our first trip was July of last year and this was already our second trip this year (it’s a sickness, I tell you). We left at 3:45 PM on US Air out of Philly – we were supposedly due into Vegas at 5:56. We decided to eat before we got on the plane as none of us really felt the need to order an $8 salad until we actually got where we were going. This was C’s first time on a plane so we let her have the window seat so she could see – or get scared. Our flight left the gate about 20 minutes late due to some radar thingie that had to be replaced. Then there was a line for take-off. Then there was an 80-knot headwind somewhere over Kansas City. Needless to say, we got to Vegas an hour late. I love 6 hours in coach. Really I do.
After hobbling off the plane and popping our ears, our annoyance quickly dissipated after seeing the Strip upon landing and seeing slot machines. Not much action since US Air always lands in the bastard terminal. Hopped the tram to the main terminal and then the perma-grin hit. Thanks to the advice of people on various Vegas boards, we checked in at MGM at the airport. In and out in under 10 minutes w/extra room keys, the promised room with a view, and no questions asked. We’d booked Presidential Limo as we had with our last trip. Even though we were an hour late, our driver was cheerfully waiting (thanks everyone who recommended Kathy R.). Got our luggage w/no problem (we always bring our toiletries in our carry-ons – lesson learned the hard way after my luggage got lost when I was going to Mexico) and we were off in the limo. Got our champagne and roses and when Kathy heard it was C’s first time in Vegas she suggested a trip from Wynn up to MGM. As the champagne in empty stomachs and being in Vegas again were doing their magic, anything she suggested would’ve been met with a stupid grin and an enthusiastic “YEAH!” So C got a GREAT first impression (better than A and myself as we stayed at Sahara and took the Airport Shuttle…. but I digress) and had the camera out the window the whole time. Kathy got pics of us in the limo and outside the limo at the hotel.
Now I know MGM is big, but damn…that’s BIG. We breezed past the massive lines of people at check-in and went straight to the 20th floor and to our room (you know – after a 5 minute walk). Our room was in great shape and was a corner room with a view all the way down the strip. We could see the fountains and past them down to the LV Hilton. Went down for a quick dinner at Rainforest (we always have to go there once a trip – no I don’t know why), added MGM slot cards that A and myself didn’t pick up – last July – to what we have started calling our “nerd chains”, and hit the floor. Since our bodies swore it was after midnight, we all went up to “take a nap”, which leads us to…Friday.
Friday, 9/2
This was our “official” reason for being here. A’s 25th birthday. We were up and out of our room by 8 (hungry…so…hungry). We’ve always missed these fabulous buffets people keep mentioning, so we decided to take our hungry behinds to the Paris buffet (that’s one thing off the list). Things are a little fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure we took the monorail (A hates to walk – plus it was C’s first time so…). I now see why you all like the Paris buffet. I love food, I love to eat, and I’m greedy. That combined with that buffet meant I didn’t eat ‘til dinner and I wasn’t even hungry then. Between coffee and crepes and smoked salmon and pastries, dear God I was in heaven.
The rest of the day we wandered around adding on to our nerd chains, feeding money into slots without blinking, and drinking at inappropriate times of the day. We had reservations for A’s birthday dinner for 5 at Mesa Grill. I know people said it was overrated, but we enjoyed ourselves, dammit, so there. The service was great (loved the switching out of white napkins for black since we were all in black slacks), the atmosphere was great, we loved our waiters (we had a team of three we nicknamed Robert, Vasquez and Sterling), appreciated the manager stopping by (nicknamed him Esteban), and the food was excellent. I ended up with the tiger shrimp and roasted garlic tamale, lamb porterhouse and some dessert involving poppyseed cake with some sort of creamy goodness inside. A decided to be “adventurous” and got fried squash blossoms w/ricotta, salmon and something involving chocolate. C evilly decided on grilled scallops, rabbit (yes she ate Thumper), and chocolate ice cream that had cayenne pepper in it (and it was GOOD).
After playing more slots at Caesar’s, visiting the Elton John store (C has a thing for him), and catching a cab back to MGM, we changed and headed off to a 10:30 Thunder From Down Under show (those who have read my TR’s before should know to expect this – those who haven’t – welcome to my world – it’s in every TR – get used to it). Moving on to Saturday.
Saturday, 9/3
We started out the day by standing in the hot @$$ sun at Tix 4 Tonite (I think that’s the one – fuzzies are intruding again) past the Hawaiian Marketplace – that line was still shorter than the ½ price place at the Coke bottle. We got half price tickets for the Star Trek Experience (C is a serious Trekker, though she cannot claim a Star Trek convention) and for the American Storm show at Riviera (never actually thought I’d set foot in that place – just never had the urge – and A hates the lights).
We went took monorail to the Hilton to do the Star Trek thing. I can honestly say I enjoyed it – though I think not paying half price would have been a rip off, since we got to see both experiences at the half price price instead of one. After the experiences and after C got her pics done in the captain’s chair and the Borg regeneration chamber (I know, I know, I have no control over her) we went to lunch at Quark’s bar. We’d been there on our last trip (but not the experiences) and wanted to try the Warp Core Breach – and since there were three of us, we figured that would give us a better chance of walking out of there under our own power. Quark’s turned out to be a blast. We took pictures of C with the various characters walking around – Ferengi, Klingons and one very hysterically funny Borg. After some food and one very large drink later (still trying to figure out how they put dry ice in a drink legally) we went back to our hotel to get ready for a night of both American Storm at 7:30 and another Thunder show at 10:30 – both of which I’ll spare you the details.
Sunday, 9/4
More sightseeing and casino hopping. Since this was C’s first trip, we had to take the time to visit properties so she could drink it all in. So this trip we got less done than previous trips. Plus this was a short trip. We ended our last night with an extremely large NY style pizza from some place on the bottom floor of MGM (found by accident when we got off the monorail at a different stairway – perhaps one really SHOULD read the brochure). At 12:01, I was downstairs at the business center printing out “A” passes for my first experience with Southwest for the return trip home the next day.
Monday, 9/5
Our last day. Checked the bill, it was fine, did express check-out, once again avoiding the lines. Left our baggage with the bell desk and went to the Forum Shops for some last minute shopping/drooling. My other self loves Pucci and Cavalli and tends to stand in those stores with a dazed look then walk out. We went from Caesar’s to Aladdin to get our free margaritas that came w/signing up for the slot club (we don’t go there a lot but free is always good). We got back to MGM as slowly as possible and then cabbed it over to the airport. Got in the “A” line for our 1:30 flight on Southwest and headed off on our indirect flight home. Landed in Chicago w/an hour or so layover and got on the final leg of our flight back to Philly. Due to an extremely funny mantendant on our second Southwest flight, I now find Southwest maybe not so bad after all. We got in to Philly at 11 PM half an hour early and immediately started plans for the next trip in January. We need rest after the holidays, you know.
Random Thoughts:
The mountain view always makes me happy. As does 100+º heat with no humidity. I hate crowds but when the other me comes out she does alright. I’m glad to have gotten some things off my list – Paris buffet, Mesa Grill, Star Trek Experience. But others are always added on. I missed going to the fountains and didn’t make it to Wynn. Didn’t get to the Bellagio or Aladdin buffets. Nor did we get to our old favorite, the Mandalay buffet (A has a thing for their Mongolian beef – I’m just greedy). Wanted to make it to In-n-Out, Fatburger and the Burger Bar and didn’t do that either (you notice I’m mentioning a lot of food here – see told you I’m greedy). The time share people are getting innovative – they sic hot young men on the females now. We got caught and I ended up telling someone I would be 25 maybe in a couple of months (I’m 28) (I see I need to add a timeshare lie – er – story to my repertoire – I already have a fake boyfriend story on hand). I still haven’t made it downtown or even off-Strip. I am officially in love with the ever so monstrous MGM (so what if it takes an hour to get anywhere). Kudos again to Presidential Limo and Kathy. And even kudos to Southwest. As always I need to return – now.
As soon as C finishes with the captions to the pictures, I’ll post the link, but I wanted to get this down before the fuzziness completely took over.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
BORED
...very...very...BORED. I'm beat because I was at a conference all last week and they really take it to heart "you can sleep when you're dead". What was the conference about? Meat. No I am not kidding. Meat - people take the field of Meat Science very very seriously. It was a learning experience, to say the least. At least I got to visit a slaughterhouse - which was quite interesting.
I plan to be the most unproductive at work I possibly can be for the next 16 days. After that it is VEGAS baby! I LOVE Vegas . This will be trip #3 since July '04. Haven't been since January and I am SO ready. If I win on Wheel of Fortune slots, my job is getting a postcard. 'Nuff said. So I'm in full "I'm going to Vegas" mode, reading message boards, people's trip reports, hotel reviews....whatever involves feeding my obsession and not doing work (like this).
Anywho, that's all I'm writing right now, I have to go pretend to work.
I plan to be the most unproductive at work I possibly can be for the next 16 days. After that it is VEGAS baby! I LOVE Vegas . This will be trip #3 since July '04. Haven't been since January and I am SO ready. If I win on Wheel of Fortune slots, my job is getting a postcard. 'Nuff said. So I'm in full "I'm going to Vegas" mode, reading message boards, people's trip reports, hotel reviews....whatever involves feeding my obsession and not doing work (like this).
Anywho, that's all I'm writing right now, I have to go pretend to work.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Holiday...Celebrate
So here I am. Still stressed. Still ready to pull my hair out. I've had a headache for four days straight. And now my back hurts. My hair looks like who did it and what for (damn humidity) and you could fry an egg in the grease on my face. Oh well, supposedly this means I won't look old when I'm...old.
But all that's alright. I'm leaving here after work tomorrow on the Amtrak to take my narrow behind to Philly to see the family. Saturday we're going to Live 8. I hate sitting outside but how often does something of this magnitude happen? Hopefully there'll be no rain and there will be some wind. Monday there's another free concert that's supposed to have Elton John and Patti LaBelle. Could it get any better?
So despite everything, I'm determined to have fun this weekend. And worry about the week later.
But all that's alright. I'm leaving here after work tomorrow on the Amtrak to take my narrow behind to Philly to see the family. Saturday we're going to Live 8. I hate sitting outside but how often does something of this magnitude happen? Hopefully there'll be no rain and there will be some wind. Monday there's another free concert that's supposed to have Elton John and Patti LaBelle. Could it get any better?
So despite everything, I'm determined to have fun this weekend. And worry about the week later.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Remember When
You could buy stuff for under a dollar including tax? Where might those days be now? I just went to the store to get some snacks for my snack drawer here at work (and some necessities) and I spent $11. Which I guess is better than the $50 I spent two weeks ago, but still... I got a 20 oz soda on sale for 99 cents (all the healthy stuff was $1.49+), chips on sale for 99 cents (the healthy stuff i.e. my favorite soy chips, were $1.49 - for a snack size bag - I don't think so), and then I had to search for some shampoo that was under $5. Thank God my toothpaste was 50%. And we wonder where our money goes.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Do You Ever...
...want something so bad you can taste it? That's me right now and has been for the past year and a half. Life as I'm living it right now is NOT life. It's not the life I'm meant to lead, I'm sure of it. I am not meant to be in this mundane, unfulfilling existence. I am not meant to be in this state, working this job, in this profession, STUCK in the nothingness while all good things pass me by. I refuse to believe that this is it. I've always said there's an "other" me. One that I have and still do keep mostly suppressed while I live how I'm "supposed" to, while I do what's expected of me when it's expected of me in the way it's expected of me. And I'm sick of it because THAT'S NOT ME. No how, no way, NO. Call it rebellion, finding myself, whatever....I have GOT to start living for ME. I did all I was SUPPOSED to do. I was a good child, did well in school, went to college on scholarship, entered the job force in my major in the job I was supposed to be in, I act like I'm supposed to, I cater to people without complaint, I don't rock the boat, I show no personality, I AM NOT LIVING. And it is making me SO unhappy. I realize I'm so unhappy because I'm not being true to myself. I'm not living for me. I'm not doing what I'm meant to be doing. I am a completely different person inside than what people see on the outside, and it is killing me. Every day I just feel crazier and crazier as I try to cope with the disparities of life as it is and life as it should be. I know what I want right this very now. I know how I want things to be. And now I have to put a plan into place that will get me to that point. So don't be surprised if I up and change everything drastically and seemingly fast. It's not personal and it's not hasty, because trust me, it's been a long time coming.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Back From AC Back to the Stress
Well I'm back from AC. What can I say, LOVED it! I had a great time. I will admit to being a bit....leery of AC. I mean come on, it IS New Jersey. But it was nice. Very contained, rather quiet, lots of old people, but nice. I left here on the Amtrak after 7 in the morning, got to Philly to meet my sister after 9, immediately hopped an NJ Transit train to AC and got there after 11. BORING scenery. Reminded me of home. And not in a good way. From the AC train station, we found the jitney labeled for our hotel and off we went.
Our first hotel was the Sands Hotel. OK I'm used to Vegas and it's EXCELLENT customer service. May I just say that AC hotel customer service SUCKS! Oh.My.God. We got there, there's no self check-in kiosk, so we have to stand in this LONG ASS LINE! And there's like 4 people at the front desk, but only 2 1/2 are working and THEY keep stopping to talk to each other. Come ON now. Finally get to the head of the line - and do they have early check-in? Uh...NO. So we go and leave our bags at the bell desk and go off to explore. First things first, even though we are STARVING, we go to the casino to sign up for our slot cards. Seriously AC folks customer service is NOT a bad word. Well at least we got ten slot dollars and a half pound of taffy each for signing up. Went to the casino and did our usual ritual of playing Wheel of Fortune. So after that it was time to eat.
There really wasn't anything to eat in our hotel. So we made our way out of the hotel and took the long way to the Boardwalk (we're famous for finding the longest possible way to get anywhere). We ended up at Johnny Rocket's outside Bally's Park Place/Claridge (next to our hotel and connected by some mysterious indoor walkway it took forever to find after the fact). Decided it was too expensive when we saw a sign for the Garden Buffet that was $6.99. Yes, yes, I know - we should've known better. But it seems to be a tradition that our first meal in a new place must suck royally. Anywho, we headed down the Boardwalk to Garden Buffet (I think it's one of the Bally's buffets, but don't quote me on that). I kid you not, there were only two sides to the damn thing and they were identical. All I can say is thank God for the fried chicken because w/out that, we would have starved. Seriously. Everything else was pretty much not edible. So we enjoyed the fried chicken and our free plastic cup of ice water. BTW, these people actually ruined the desserts. WTH.
After lunch it was off to Bally's casino to sign up for their slot card. The good thing about this one is that it's good for Vegas, as well. WHOO HOO! Did the WOF thing at Bally's and decided to find our way out of there to go check in finally. We wandered through Bally's then through Claridge (marked difference - Claridge was way nicer) and blundered our way through to the indoor walkway and back to Sands. Stood in the long ass line again and finally checked in. Then we went to the bell desk. NO BELLHOPS. NO ONE WAS AT THE DESK. So we waited for 10 friggin' minutes. Guess who didn't get a tip? Anyway, us and an older couple went to the elevator and no one could quite get that we were supposed to insert the room key in the slot then hit the button. It was by fluke, finally, that we ended up on our floor. Ah - the hallways....
Pink walls. White chair rail. Pink roses w/green leaves and white trellis...and the carpet was bright green w/pink roses as well. Right. All I could do was pray the room didn't match the hallway. As luck would have it, the room was in nice sand tones *whew*. The bathroom was nasty. Mildewed grout. YEESH.
Later on, we explored more. We ended up taking the long way (yes again) to Trump Plaza. Got our slot cards there - and ended up with a free wireless mouse. Ended up at Tropicana and got cards there as well. We ended up eating there at some cafe. We were looking for the Rainforest Cafe, but somehow never made it to that side. Too lazy to walk back so we took a cab back to Sands.
Next morning, we checked out of Sands and cabbed it over to Resorts, our next hotel. All I can say is you should've SEEN the grins on our faces when we pulled up. First there was doorman service. Then we walked into the black marble lobby lit w/blue. It was SO classy and pretty. It was so pretty I won't even dwell on the SUCKS ASS CUSTOMER SERVICE. *ahem* At any rate, we did the bell desk thing again and headed off to the casino. We signed up for slot cards there and once more headed to WOF. We then toured the hotel, got excited when we saw a Thunder From Down Under poster, and found the indoor walkway between Resorts and the next hotel, Trump Taj Mahal (again - the LONG way - much easier to take the Boardwalk). Headed to Trump, decided the Taj Card line was way too long and went and played WOF. Wandered around Taj a bit then found the indoor walkway (same story as before) to the next hotel, which was Showboat. We'd considered staying at Showboat when we were researching this trip, but I'm glad we didn't. Showboat was interesting and I can't wait 'til House of Blues opens up there. That'll be great. We signed up for the Harrah's/Showboat card which is also good in Vegas (WHOO HOO!) and found out we could each get a free 12 pack of Coke (alright now!). Eventually we headed back through Showboat and Taj to Resorts to check in. Off to the elevator. The halls were...interesting. A bit bright. Orange, yellow, red and green plaid carpets. Which actually wasn't ugly. Our room was very beachy. But nice. Textured sand colored walls and carpets, white-washed wood and orange, yellow and blue plaid beds. The bathroom was a bit less skeezy than Sands. That night, I think we ended up eating at a cafe at Taj.
The next day (TFDU day WHOO!) we took a walk on the beach. It was so pretty and peaceful. Then we found the jitney over to Borgata. I fell in love immediately. It felt like home. That is definitely the most Vegas-y of the AC hotel/casinos. AND the demographic was most definitely younger. I MUST stay there. 'Course we signed up for the My Borgata card and played slots. We ate at the buffet, as well. Now THAT is a buffet. Good interesting HOT food that had TASTE. And the desserts? BLESS YOU BORGATA! We returned to our hotel for naps and then got up to ready ourselves for the 11:30 TFDU show. We hadn't seen this cast before, as they are the touring group and usually do West, Midwest and overseas. I'm now as in love w/them as I am w/the Vegas cast, if not more. The show as great and the guys are SO SWEET. We saw them outside in the hotel later on and they recognized us and stopped to talk. Great personalities, all of them. And that, folks, would be the main reason why we must return to AC before they leave at the end of July.
So that was the AC trip. Well worth it. I needed the break. I want to go back. And may the next trip be the BEST.
Our first hotel was the Sands Hotel. OK I'm used to Vegas and it's EXCELLENT customer service. May I just say that AC hotel customer service SUCKS! Oh.My.God. We got there, there's no self check-in kiosk, so we have to stand in this LONG ASS LINE! And there's like 4 people at the front desk, but only 2 1/2 are working and THEY keep stopping to talk to each other. Come ON now. Finally get to the head of the line - and do they have early check-in? Uh...NO. So we go and leave our bags at the bell desk and go off to explore. First things first, even though we are STARVING, we go to the casino to sign up for our slot cards. Seriously AC folks customer service is NOT a bad word. Well at least we got ten slot dollars and a half pound of taffy each for signing up. Went to the casino and did our usual ritual of playing Wheel of Fortune. So after that it was time to eat.
There really wasn't anything to eat in our hotel. So we made our way out of the hotel and took the long way to the Boardwalk (we're famous for finding the longest possible way to get anywhere). We ended up at Johnny Rocket's outside Bally's Park Place/Claridge (next to our hotel and connected by some mysterious indoor walkway it took forever to find after the fact). Decided it was too expensive when we saw a sign for the Garden Buffet that was $6.99. Yes, yes, I know - we should've known better. But it seems to be a tradition that our first meal in a new place must suck royally. Anywho, we headed down the Boardwalk to Garden Buffet (I think it's one of the Bally's buffets, but don't quote me on that). I kid you not, there were only two sides to the damn thing and they were identical. All I can say is thank God for the fried chicken because w/out that, we would have starved. Seriously. Everything else was pretty much not edible. So we enjoyed the fried chicken and our free plastic cup of ice water. BTW, these people actually ruined the desserts. WTH.
After lunch it was off to Bally's casino to sign up for their slot card. The good thing about this one is that it's good for Vegas, as well. WHOO HOO! Did the WOF thing at Bally's and decided to find our way out of there to go check in finally. We wandered through Bally's then through Claridge (marked difference - Claridge was way nicer) and blundered our way through to the indoor walkway and back to Sands. Stood in the long ass line again and finally checked in. Then we went to the bell desk. NO BELLHOPS. NO ONE WAS AT THE DESK. So we waited for 10 friggin' minutes. Guess who didn't get a tip? Anyway, us and an older couple went to the elevator and no one could quite get that we were supposed to insert the room key in the slot then hit the button. It was by fluke, finally, that we ended up on our floor. Ah - the hallways....
Pink walls. White chair rail. Pink roses w/green leaves and white trellis...and the carpet was bright green w/pink roses as well. Right. All I could do was pray the room didn't match the hallway. As luck would have it, the room was in nice sand tones *whew*. The bathroom was nasty. Mildewed grout. YEESH.
Later on, we explored more. We ended up taking the long way (yes again) to Trump Plaza. Got our slot cards there - and ended up with a free wireless mouse. Ended up at Tropicana and got cards there as well. We ended up eating there at some cafe. We were looking for the Rainforest Cafe, but somehow never made it to that side. Too lazy to walk back so we took a cab back to Sands.
Next morning, we checked out of Sands and cabbed it over to Resorts, our next hotel. All I can say is you should've SEEN the grins on our faces when we pulled up. First there was doorman service. Then we walked into the black marble lobby lit w/blue. It was SO classy and pretty. It was so pretty I won't even dwell on the SUCKS ASS CUSTOMER SERVICE. *ahem* At any rate, we did the bell desk thing again and headed off to the casino. We signed up for slot cards there and once more headed to WOF. We then toured the hotel, got excited when we saw a Thunder From Down Under poster, and found the indoor walkway between Resorts and the next hotel, Trump Taj Mahal (again - the LONG way - much easier to take the Boardwalk). Headed to Trump, decided the Taj Card line was way too long and went and played WOF. Wandered around Taj a bit then found the indoor walkway (same story as before) to the next hotel, which was Showboat. We'd considered staying at Showboat when we were researching this trip, but I'm glad we didn't. Showboat was interesting and I can't wait 'til House of Blues opens up there. That'll be great. We signed up for the Harrah's/Showboat card which is also good in Vegas (WHOO HOO!) and found out we could each get a free 12 pack of Coke (alright now!). Eventually we headed back through Showboat and Taj to Resorts to check in. Off to the elevator. The halls were...interesting. A bit bright. Orange, yellow, red and green plaid carpets. Which actually wasn't ugly. Our room was very beachy. But nice. Textured sand colored walls and carpets, white-washed wood and orange, yellow and blue plaid beds. The bathroom was a bit less skeezy than Sands. That night, I think we ended up eating at a cafe at Taj.
The next day (TFDU day WHOO!) we took a walk on the beach. It was so pretty and peaceful. Then we found the jitney over to Borgata. I fell in love immediately. It felt like home. That is definitely the most Vegas-y of the AC hotel/casinos. AND the demographic was most definitely younger. I MUST stay there. 'Course we signed up for the My Borgata card and played slots. We ate at the buffet, as well. Now THAT is a buffet. Good interesting HOT food that had TASTE. And the desserts? BLESS YOU BORGATA! We returned to our hotel for naps and then got up to ready ourselves for the 11:30 TFDU show. We hadn't seen this cast before, as they are the touring group and usually do West, Midwest and overseas. I'm now as in love w/them as I am w/the Vegas cast, if not more. The show as great and the guys are SO SWEET. We saw them outside in the hotel later on and they recognized us and stopped to talk. Great personalities, all of them. And that, folks, would be the main reason why we must return to AC before they leave at the end of July.
So that was the AC trip. Well worth it. I needed the break. I want to go back. And may the next trip be the BEST.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Where I'll Be
These two hotel/casinos will be my homes away from home in AC. Don't ask me how they are because I sure as hell don't know. Ask me after Wednesday.
Sands Casino and Hotel http://www.acsands.com
Resorts Atlantic City http://www.resortsac.com
Oh and we're going to see them: http://www.thunderfromdownunder.com - the Aussie Storm troupe (since we've already made ourselves known to TFDU in Vegas, why not spread the love to their traveling buddies in AC? :-D)
Sands Casino and Hotel http://www.acsands.com
Resorts Atlantic City http://www.resortsac.com
Oh and we're going to see them: http://www.thunderfromdownunder.com - the Aussie Storm troupe (since we've already made ourselves known to TFDU in Vegas, why not spread the love to their traveling buddies in AC? :-D)
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