Looking Back

First - looking back at my September blog post - who the hell was I in a relationship with in September?

OK moving on. 2009 is almost here. Let me just say 2008 friggin' SUCKED. SUCKED HARD. 2009 has GOT to be better. 'Cuz DAMN. I am so not in the holiday spirit. Normally I would be glued to Dick Clark right about now. I'll tune in at 11:59:59, but that's about it. Whoo. Freakin'. Hoo.

At least I'm ENDING the year right - an unexpected blessing in a boyfriend I love. Ooh and no S.A.D. symptoms. And I'm so eager for the damn year to be over I don't have my usual sad sack list of things I didn't do in the past year. Whatever. I'm alive.

So here's to a...not sucky 2009.

Me in Pictures

I saw this in a blog and thought it was pretty cool.
First, go to Flickr. Then, go to Big Huge Labs’ mosaic-maker in a second tab in the same window so you can easily switch back & forth. Now you’re going to fill in your answers, then do a photo search in Flickr for each word or phrase. You must then choose one photo from the FIRST PAGE ONLY of your results that most resonates with you and then enter each photo url into the mosaic-maker. Once you finish, hit create and there you have it. (And at any given time, the results can be different based on Flickr photo activity.)



What is your first name? Bethany

What is your favorite food? Cheese

What high school did you go to? Stephen Decatur High School

What is your favorite color? Purple

Who is your celebrity crush? Oded Fehr

What is your favorite drink? Vodka tonic

What is your dream vacation? Bellagio in Vegas

What is your favorite dessert? Creme Brulee

What do you want to do when you grow up? I don't want to grow up

Who/ what do you love most in life? Books

Choose one word that describes you? Fractured

Where is your favorite place to be? Vegas

Photo credits:
1. Planet Bethany, 2. Homemade: Ciabatta with Pesto, Provolone Cheese, Tomato, and Basil & Persimmon, 3. 0824 12-SH, 4. Sleek, 5. Oded Fehr was my inspiration for the experimental shot, 6. At the bar, 7. Dale Chihuly, 8. Crème Brulée, 9. Why Me, 10. The Old Library II, 11. The Amphitheatre, 12. A psychedelic fairytale

AUGH!

So I'm in the beginnings of a relationship. I am trying my best not to self-sabotage. This is an interesting opportunity to figure out why I do what I do and how not to screw this up. I have to be a woman and uh...woman up. Face my issues, face the relationship, face everything. Head on. No excuses. I'm guessing this is next in where I have to go to continue to get better. My G.A.D. does lovely things to how you react in life, so you must fight. I'm going to have to step outside of my very uncomfortable box and face some very uncomfortable things. To be handled delicately and honestly.

Possibilities

Is it possible to terrifically clarified and still have no clue how to muddle through whatever it was you were trying to do?

Yesterday, Today, Forever?

I'm making a point this week to take a step back and look at the big picture. I've had a rather rough week with several things happening at once or one right after the other. It's so tempting to just throw up my hands and run screaming from the problem(s). But then I stop and think, "Is it really that bad?" In the whole scheme of things, how "bad" is it? Will I even remember, say, in six months? Chances are, the answer is "no".

As is human nature, it's so easy to get stuck in the NOW. We only see what's RIGHT THERE and we're missing the way out that's over THERE. How many times have you looked back at something and said "Now if only I'd done that. It's so clear."? I know I have. I know I do. And I know I'll do it again. Human nature.

I'm learning to let go of the past, live today, and plan for tomorrow. I always forget the first and the last step. The past isn't helping me except as lessons learned. So I will take those lessons, take note, learn from them, and move on. Living today doesn't mean living FOR today. It means taking what's presented right now and dealing with it, through it or around it to survive and thrive. What's really important is planning for tomorrow. Tomorrow is what matters. Tomorrow is inevitable. So set yourself a solid foundation and plan for tomorrow.