Wednesday, June 10, 2009


It's 2 in the morning on a weekday and the insomnia that is always with me is particularly strong today. I'm on my second Ambien in hopes to slow my mind down to an acceptable degree. NOT trying to be the next River Phoenix/Heath Ledger, though.

The ambien is in my system. slowing my motor functions and thought processes. But that hasn't reached my mind. What my therapist refers to as "busy brain". Where you just can't stop thinking. At all. It's rather annoying in its way. For example, will tonight's episode send me to work well-rested or even ALERT? I'm guessing no.

It's very hard to explain to people that you just can't get up that day. No matter how hard you try. Yes I and depressed NO I am not DEPRESSED. Please, well meaning people do NOT ask What I'm depressed about. I will most likely rip you a new one. With a smile.

Gonna stop typing now, Hard to stay coherent when you're bone-tired and on amnbien which may or not be sneaking up on you to sleep.

Wonder how coherent this is gonna look in the morning.