Saturday, December 31, 2011

One more year gone...

Well, it's the last day of 2011.  It doesn't seem like New Year's Eve.  Possibly because it's the weekend.  No plans tonight.  Just me and my laundry.  I may tune in to see the ball drop on Ryan Seacrest/Dick Clark. Pretty quiet night.  I can't complain about 2011.  Got in some good short trips to Atlantic City three times.  And a big trip to a new city - Nashville - to see a once-in-a-lifetime concert w/both New Kids on the Block AND Backstreet Boys.  That was fun.  It was a pretty stable year mental health-wise, too.  So I'm grateful for that.  Still a rebuilding year, I think.  Interesting to see if 2012 brings in anything exciting, new and different.  Time will tell.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

...or so they would have us believe anyway. I'm always kind of conflicted about the holiday season. On one hand it's great because there are breaks from work and travel and food. On the other hand there's just so much to do. Planning trips, keeping money together, figuring out what the hell to get everyone for Christmas, office parties... It can get stressful if I let it, but I try not to let it reach that point because it wouldn't be good for me. Definitely try to keep out things in life that can stress me out of the sanity I'm currently enjoying.

I can't believe the year is almost over. I never really remember the specifics of a year gone by. I'm pretty sure it's just a side effect of whatever brain issue I have. Kind of a defense mechanism to protect me from getting overwhelmed. Or sheer boredom. Either could be true.

This year there wasn't a Vegas trip (boo!), but there were three Atlantic City trips and a trip to Nashville. I love to travel. It's one of the things that makes me happiest. I love getting ready for a trip - the thought process, the planning, the special "trip" clothes and supplies - everything. It's always fun to not be "here". Trip planning is what keeps me sane in between the travel.

2011 hasn't been a bad year. Anything is better than 2009, so as long as I'm moving forward in a positive direction, I suppose that's good. I am getting restless, though. I need to make some movements in my life. As soon as I figure out the logistics of WHAT, I can figure out what needs to be done and how to get there. I don't want to get bogged down in the fact that everyone else's lives seem to be moving while mine remains stagnant. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I don't know - we'll see what happens.

I want to get back to writing again. I feel like with the whole depression meds thing it sucked out every bit of creativity I ever had. I remember before I started on meds I could write prolifically and deeply. Not so much anymore. I'm hoping to get some of that back. It seems I could only write when desperately unhappy, but it's gotta be in there somewhere even when things are going ok. I just have to find an outlet. 

What will 2012 bring? Only time will tell. And I know better than to try to make concrete plans for anything. The universe just laughs at plans, anyway.