I hate Verizon. More than I hate Comcast and the IRS. But I'm not talking about them today. I can only deal with one headache causing annoyance at a time, people. Anywhoodie...
Verizon sucks ASS! I have them for my telephone service - for several reasons 1) I'd get Vonage, but the whole "we don't have 911 service" thing bothers me 2) Worldcom went bye-bye and 3) when you set up your local service and Verizon gives you a choice, the list is like 40 names long, none of which I'd actually heard of, so instead of dealing with Leroy's Long Distance and Rib Shack, I choose to deal with...Verizon.
The other day I was at home. It was my day off. I was in a good mood. On the phone with my sister. On my computer surfing around. In my room watching TV. Then an expected fax didn't come through. Many times. My roommate called my phone to see if it worked - it went straight to voicemail. I picked up my phone - dead air, static, faint voices, and a faint "we're sorry, please hang up and place your call again". So after checking to make sure I'd actually paid my phone bill (you know it's embarrassing when you call up a company all indignant only to find out it's your fault because you're three months behind and forgot), I put in an online request for service. It said I could get an appointment for the next day. Ooh yay, unexpected but cool.
I should've known better. This isn't my first time dealing with Verizon. So the next day is Saturday. I've been given an "appointment" time between 8 AM and 6 PM. Great. That's only 10 hours to sit around and do nothing. I check the status of my order online. Still says 6 PM. OK. Let's just say I wasted a day. And at the end of that day I was still in tin can and string mode. I sent in a letter of complaint for the no-show lazy ass unqualified telephone repair technician. Sunday I checked my order status - according to them, there had been an outage in the area, my number was one of those affected, and the problem was due to be fixed by 9 PM....the PREVIOUS day. That was some serious bull since I'm pretty sure my roommate's phone would have been affected. I looked at my order status - oh look they couldn't "find" the information. So I put in another order - and got an appointment for TUESday between 8 AM and 8 PM. Did I mention I hate Verizon?
I got my phone service back for a hot second that day. And then it broke again. So on Monday when I got to work, I called Verizon. When the illiterate-sounding person answered the phone (after 5 rings, no less) they said that I'd put in an order for Tuesday. Ooh ya THINK?! I responded with I'd actually put in an order for Saturday, but since no one could see fit to actually show up and do their job, I'd had to place another order. And I was calling to talk to an actual person to see if someone might take it upon themselves to actually show up on Tuesday. After a silence Mr. Hooked on Phonics informed me someone would definitely come out on Tuesday. Mm-hm really. So could he at least tell me what the problem was? Well he could test my line. Um yeah duh hop to it. HE tells me there's a short in my line. Whatever that means. And whatever you half-breed idiot. Just send somebody to fix my damn phone line.
Tuesday I'm up and waiting. Not expecting much because, after all, this IS Verizon. So I sit. I eat. I watch TV. I clean out some more papers and stuff for the upcoming move. I play on the computer (on a sidenote thank the Lord I have cable modem - had I gone with Verizon DSL I would doubly be shit out of luck). So it's 9. It's 10. It's 11. Then I notice my message light is flashing. Which it wasn't before. I pick up the phone. Oh look they fixed it AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME. And the message? From the day before. When Verizon called and left a message asking if my line was working and if it wasn't could I give them a call back. There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I don't even know where to start. OK you know my line's not working. But you call me. Since my line isn't working, I don't know when I have a message without waiting until I go to work and calling my voicemail. But yet you leave me a message. Then you tell me to call you. With WHAT?! Hold on, let me go get my Batman light and I'll send you a signal.
Verizon shall be receiving a nicely worded letter from me this week. I hate buying stamps, but they suck monkey nuts, and it's worth the effort.
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